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Hi xylar,   Sounds like you could have schizophrenia, a treatable disease that many people recover from.  I suggest you see a professional who would be in a position to make the diagnosis and in that instance he or she would prescribe medication if you indeed had schizophrenia.  The key concern I see in your writing is that you have panic attacks.  With the right meds, your life could become more manageable.  I'm not saying that you'll have to give up the council or that the council will necessarily go away once you start taking the meds.  However, you will hopefully feel more secure in the world.  I also suggest you write SharePosts here, as others have done, to get support for what they go through.   Peace, cb   I urge you to seriously consider going into treatment with medication and therapy, if a professional makes the decision that you indeed have schizophrenia