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Hello endorope,   Please understand, I want only that you find some comfort and a workable solution to this dilemma.  It is hard for you in what you are going through, I know.   Trust me, this sounds all too familiar  as I know someone whose son sounds just like your son, down to the last details of the situation.  It's like a mirror.   It is hard to know for sure whether he has schizophrenia or is just loafing, unless you get a professional to make an accurate diagnosis.   I'm sorry to be blunt; however, the truth is, he is an adult, 30 years old, and it's time the entitlement stops.  Why should he collect SSD when he's getting paid already by you?  As hard as it's going to be, I suggest you tell him the gravy train has run out of fuel and won't be making any stops at your house again.   Sorry, sorry, sorry.  He is an adult, and as such is responsible for his actions.  One thing certain people are good at is manipulating their mother or father so that the mother or father gives in and enables them to continue their behavior.   I'm surprised when I hear of parents floating the bill for their adult children. However, that is probably because my parents expected me to pay my own way.   I would also plan on what you want to happen when you're no longer in the picture.   Better to nip this in the bud now than wait to do something until it goes beyond being out of hand.   Again, I have come on strong, I know.  I hope you understand that this is because you need to act quickly.   Regards, Chris