Hello goober,

I understand your frustration though I'm going to be blunt.  You love your brother, he is after all your brother.  However, something has to change and it might get worse before it gets better.

I'm going to get a lot of flak for what I tell you.  This is: tough love.  I wouldn't give your brother any more money, the fact that you did give him so much money while he wasn't working on his recovery, only enabled him to act the way he did towards you and your mother.  He doesn't respect either of you and you deserve respect.  Sometimes things get worse before they get better.  People have become homeless because they don't take their schizophrenia medication.  It is noble that you wanted to protect your brother from being homeless, however, you protected him from learning the hard lessons he had to learn about taking responsibility for his behavior.

If he is unable to work, he can get government social security benefits in the US that would pay for supportive living so he could live on his own.  Unfortunately, he'd have to take medication to be able to live in most supportive apartments.  Also: there's the possibility of Section 8 housing if he is in danger of being homeless or becomes homeless.

I'm sorry that your brother refuses to take his medication.

At this point it sounds like he is a master manipulator able to get his own way.

I have told you a possible scenario that happens when people don't take their medication.  You are right now faced with the hardest decision to make.  You endless supply of money to your brother has undoubtedly run out.

I would do what you have to do.  And that might include kicking your brother out of the house if you so choose and letting him learn a hard lesson or two.  He is an adult not a minor child and is responsible for his own life.

Should you want support and feedback in addition to the comments posted by community members here, you could attend a family support meeting hosted by the local NAMI affiliate in your city or town.  Call the national hotline at (800) 950-NAMI (6264) to find the name and number of the local affiliate in your area.  The family members there have all gone through what you're going through.  And who knows, they may have kinder suggestions than the ones I've given you.

Regards,

Christina