My daughter is 22, a "cutter", one suicide attempt, (but very loving until now), no warmth at all.
She is graduating from College with High Honors, went to a very good private high school, at which time in her junior year started cutting herself. Was treated with medications, therapy, support groups, and a very supportive family, (specially us, her parents). To she is brutally cold (specially with me, her mother), we have always been very united and close, in every aspect. Her father (although) we have been divorced since she was 5, is a wonderful, caring, loving and has been always in her life, we have always maintained a great close relationship for our daughter. (only one). She was (ever after the cutting was diagnosed), always close to her family, warm hearted, had her share of fun, boyfriends, drinking, etc. But, certainly, never such a arrogant cold person (exhibiting it now with additional members of family.) COULD SHE BE CLOSE TO OR A "SCHIZOPHRENIA", SHE IS PREGNANT, HER BOYFRIEND HAS NO JOB NOR SHE, AND SHE HAS NOT SHOWN ONE OUNCE OF WORRY REGARDING FINANCIAL, JOB, NEW BORN, JUST ALL IS PEACHY!
Dear Alice,
You are going through a lot right now and I hope it works out well for everyone. I am sorry to hear of your troubles.
Only a professional can make the diagnosis of schizophrenia. He or she would need to rule out other causes of her behavior, such as a medical condition or drug use.
From what you've said, I feel there could be underlying issues and that your daughter could benefit from therapy and perhaps family therapy. You've suggested this avenue has been explored before. Has she clicked with any of her therapists? Would she be willing to take the time to find the right professional to work with?
Schizophrenia is only one possible diagnosis.
Has she considered giving the baby up for adoption?
If she is unable to care for the baby, the child will be placed in foster care unless of course you take your daughter and the baby in. I am sorry to be honest about this however I'm not sure you want to take the baby in.
Lastly, a mental illness diagnosis could change over time and what one doctor believed to be true in her teens could be different today with another psychiatrist because her behavior could've changed or new information was brought to light that more accurately reflects what's going on.
So, try not to worry whether she has schizophrenia or not, just show her your love, find a family support group for yourself to cope better with this, and take time to care for yourself and be good to yourself.
This will help you cope with her lack of warmth. Please understand that her coldness isn't directed at you, it's something that's she going through that could be a symptom of whatever mental illness she does have.
Call the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) hotline at (800) 950-NAMI (6264) to find a family support group in your town or City.
I really do hope it works out.
Wishing you the best,
Chri
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