I'm a 21 year old paranoid schizophrenic who wants to have children someday. Do you think the year or more that it will take for me to get pregnant and have the baby will push me past the no return point in my illness. I know I will only be able to go through one pregnancy in my life. I really don't want to adopt. I want this experience and I want my own child. Also do you think it would be possible to resume medication after the child is fully developed in the womb? I'm looking for any advice, I haven't really found anyone who knows much on the topic or has ever seen a schizophrenic woman plan to go off meds to have a baby. Btw I'm on Geodon 80mg twice a day and just started BuSpar for social anxiety
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Q: I'm a female schizophrenic who wants to have a baby someday
Answers (9)
2/13/10 2:48pm
Hello jkbogart,
For me the one reason I chose not to have kids is that I didn't want my son or daughter to risk developing schizophrenia.
If you are okay with that possibility the question really is in what way do you want to manage your pregnancy. I know of a woman who has schizophrenia who gave birth to a healthy daughter.
The only question you have to ask yourself and be honest about is this: do you feel you've recovered to the point where you could be a mother caring for someone else at the same time you manage your own recovery?
It is possible for a woman who has schizophrenia to raise a family.
As Pretty said, you will have to consult your psychiatrist to determine the safest way to carry a baby to term. However once the baby is born it is most likely that you will need to return to taking your medication every day as prescribed.
By the way I'm on Geodon too and it has been like a miracle drug for me.
I wish you all the best with whatever choice you decide to make.
Opting for having just one kid sounds like a good thing too.
I admire women with schizophrenia who have the courage to want to have kids.
It is not something I could do.
Regards,
Christina
2/13/10 4:27am
Please consult your General Practitioner about this. I don't know if it is wise to go off your medication while pregnnt or not as you may become ill. There are side effects to pregnancy and the hormones may play havoc. I am thinking of having children too but don't want to risk going off my medication or the damage I can do to my baby if I take medication. Please consult your doctor. He or she will know best.
2/24/10 3:36pm
This is my personal opinion, I do not think you should have any children!!! If you have these psychotic problems, what good will you be to your baby when you get or become frustrated with the responsibilities that comes with raising a baby. Do not be selfish and want a baby, just because you may think it is quite, then you may become delusional, or have hallucinations and harm the baby, then what happens. What if you have a child and he or she develops a mental illness, now the child suffers, having to take medications for the rest of their life. Do not hurt a innocent child with your selfishness.
3/ 5/10 6:55pm
hi,please dont let people like that bring u down dear--u know there just those type of people who believe anyone who has a mental illness or is poor and living off the government or any other minority group shouldnt have kids and if they do apparantly they are selfish and some even go as far as sayin they should be sterilized against there will--ive seen it too many times.u r capable of being a good parent. my mom has depression,my dad is a manic depressive(bipolar) and i am bipolar too and id love too have a family some day,,also my sister,which is my moms daughter from a previous marriage is a schizophrenic as well so understand(and i know mental illnesses run in are family alot!)but dont talk like that sweetie that u wanna kill yourself cus some hag said you shouldnt have kids--dont pay attention too people like that.peace too u,and ill hope and pray u will have a child and i know if u do u will be a good mother,,take care:):)
3/ 5/10 8:30pm
Thank you for your words of encouragement, God bless you! I'll be praying for you and your family
3/14/10 5:28pm
Hello there,
Please excuse my late reply, but i felt compelled to comment on the unkind and ignorant reply above.
If you really want to have a child, you should most definately do so! And i'm sure you'll be a most successful mother. My mother has mental illness, and she went untreated for years. True, this caused plenty of problems, but let me tell you, she was a loving and beloved mother! More successful as a mother than many healthy women.
Take heart and ignore prejudiced uninformed people who would stigmitize you.
By the way, neither i nor my brother have mental illness, and we are now in our late forties with grown children of our own...
All the best to you..
9/22/10 6:00am
Hi, just wanted to say you see people like the one above. They're very bitter for some reason or another. No decent person is ever this rude or as you said "uneducated". And lets just hope for their sake or the sake of any children they either have (or intend to have) they never have to suffer like others do.
You are not worthless at all. There is someone out there for everyone, so never worry about finding a man. Just don't look for him :) You will meet someone who will be able to understand and support you and together you will build a lovely relationship and a family. As with ANY relationship, the key is trust. Most people would say "you have to be honest with him about your illness from the start". I dont believe this is true, I think initially you need to find someone YOU can trust. Because the harsh reality some people will run a mile, while others will be right there with you all the way. But this person will need to be able to trust you too. To feel as safe and secure (as with ANY relationship) with you as they make you feel.
As for sex.. Hmmm well I can just about tolerate it at the best of times so just remember it only takes once :) But you should try and get out of the house and do stuff. Even if it has to be a planned route. maybe you should get your closest friend/relative to join a class/club with you or take up a sport/exercise you can do together. That way you are around familiar people in a familiar environment and any paranoid notions are further from your mind. You can begin to feel comfortable somewhere else other than your home. And hopefully this way you can broaden your friendship circle.
my partner has the same close friends who he spends his time with and who he trusts.
x Every little helps x
3/18/11 12:25am
I have no idea if you will get this or if you have went forward with having a baby. I read this answer and just had to say something. This is not to make you feel worthless or unwhanted. Your young. I have to ask how long have you been dealing with understanding your illness. You say that you will have a life partner to help you thats a big amount of faith to put on a person that will be so hurtful to you if it does not work out. I am 39 yrs old and was raised by a mother with schizophrenia, let me tell you it was such a hard unhappy childhood and this was with a father that even though abused by his wife did not leave. You do not no the corse your illness will take and as you age it changes. My mother had times she was not so bad and others I was afraid to be alone with her. You also said that God gave you the right to have children but you also have an illness that will make it hard to raise a child happy and healthy. Yes its not fare but is cancer or mental retardation (my aunt was born with) I could list so many things that people that did not ask or cause have. You say its your choice but from a child that did not get a choice I wish I was thought of. I would have told my mother to never of had me. Many people had to grow up the same way I have. I know the pain and abuse and fear. You did not ask for what you have and I'm truly sorry I know how hard it is. If I were you I would choose to spend my life being well and happy. One other thing you need to think about is what it does to you going off meds from seeing this with my mom each time less of the person she was came back. This illness is harsh the only person you should be focused on is you...I wish you all the best and good health. This is in kindness from a former child that has lived it....
2/21/12 4:25pm
hi, when treated successfully a schizophrenic is very able. I have been through university, held down a job over the past ten years, three years as a secretary and paid the mortgage on a four bedroom house and I am married. Life is not without its problems whoever you are. Unfortunately a minority of people do suffer awfully especially if they are poorly treated and suffer severe stress but these times of stress also effect those not treated for a mental disorder. Neglect and child cruelty also exists amongst 'healthy' people. I myself would not be though mentally unwell so it is hard to stereotype. Also support networks assist through these times. I would definitely stay pro life or born even with hardship as a child. Life is a gift. I would and shall see a good psychiatric Dr who can advise you and then consider if you are able to manage. Good luck...
9/19/11 10:50pm
oh my goodnesss what a horrable thing that person has said to you. my brother is
schizophrenic. and my best friend was just diagnosed with it and thats why i came on here to see if she could have any children. im so sorry on what that person said they clearly are not educated on this illness.
and please live your life and i wish you much happiness and please have children if you can. dont listen to the negative that people say. in all honesty they are the ones with the real illness. best of luck and much happiness
God bless you
4/11/10 10:58am
Well my honest opinion is its your life,and its your Baby, if you do decide to have one. I think that you will make a brilliant mum .How do I know this ? .Well because you have shared with us your thoughts and your illness which to me shows your a caring young lady and yes you do need to give it a lot of thought.I think you already know the answer, and I am sure with your love it will be the right one .I do know one thing for sure ,you will do well in whatever the future bestows upon you, and you have my prayers and love to help you on your way Danny in UK
4/11/10 10:58am
Well my honest opinion is its your life,and its your Baby, if you do decide to have one. I think that you will make a brilliant mum .How do I know this ? .Well because you have shared with us your thoughts and your illness which to me shows your a caring young lady and yes you do need to give it a lot of thought.I think you already know the answer, and I am sure with your love it will be the right one .I do know one thing for sure ,you will do well in whatever the future bestows upon you, and you have my prayers and love to help you on your way Danny in UK
9/19/11 10:53pm
just to let you know you are sooooo under educated about this illness and how dare you come on here and say such negative things. you will never ever have to deal with what this illness does to people and the battle they have to deal with.
7/20/10 12:24pm
sorry i was hurt for u when i read that ignorant comment like all the others i believe u will be a great mom, at least your doing your reserch now and that shows your strength right there i myself have schizophrenia and want a baby myself like u i think one child is all i could handle we gotta be strong for each other u are not alone, the disease is one lonly disease thank god for the internet cause some of my closest friends dont know im sick but that ok 2,u will be in my prayers and sorry that dummy upset u like that, god see's all ugly.
7/21/10 2:18am
Do what you feel you can handle and make sure you have somebody there to help you. My mother is schizphrenic. She raisd my brother and I alone till we where 5 and 6 and got us taken away because she was very very ill at the time BUT was unaware of it and was not taking medications also she had nobody to help her or brother and I because my father and her divorced and we lived in a different country then him. I feel if she had been medicated and had help it woulda been better. She is medicated now and doing great. She put me through ALOT that many otherkids dont go through BUT i love her still i understand she didnt know and cant controll it. And i did not inharit schizophrenia, neither did my little brother we are perectly fine. So just make sure you have help and they will be FINE!! They will love you no matter what trust me they will understand. I love my mother very very much and to be honest I feel growing up with a mother like that has made me alot more understanding of other people and I wouldnt change a thing about her or what ever happend.
9/22/10 5:12am
Hi, ok well I can tell you it is very hard. I am the partner of someone who suffers with this condition and everyday is a task. I am young myself, have been friends with my partner since childhood, and we have 3 children together and am expecting our 4th child. The thing is you never know "what kind of day" you will wake up having. He goes from being happy one minute to moody and depressed the next. One minute he interacts with the children, the next he secludes himself from them and doesn't see them from one month to the next. He makes up stories about me and constantly lies about me and my abilities as a mother and if he is having a bad day he will put me down in front of them and then try to blame me for his actions. This may seem insignificant but when you think that our children our witnessing this and I fear that they will grow up (as most kids do) believing that "its ok to talk to mummy in this way and to be talked to in this way". Plus there is the added risk that they too can develop the same condition. (Please note I was only advised of his diagnosis when i were pregnant with our 3rd child). Im only telling you this as pregnancy is a very stressful time. Hormones and just the huge change play a major role and if you're not taking your medication you can have the worst mood swings ever during this time and may contemplate suicide or after the baby is born develop post natal depression. And as some people with schizophrenia are in complete denial of it, this might as a result make you deny having post natal depression. Which would then lead to further problems and may worsen your schizophrenia. Having a child is a wonderful blessing and it should be a happy time for everyone no matter who they are. Its just maybe if you think of the reality that if you're having a bad day/week or month even, its one thing to neglect yourself but your baby couldn't be neglected. they will be relying on you for everything and simple things like feeding them on time, taking them for immunisations, check ups etc.. if you become paranoid that drs are doing things or plotting against you/baby you might start missing these important things and then alarm bells start ringing with drs and they want to interfere more with your social care of your child which again could cause you more stress. Please dont look at these things in a negative way. Im just giving you an idea of worst case scenarios here so that you can be sure that this is really what you want. Having family and friends around to help is always great, but please understand that nobody can be there ALL the time. If your partners working or mum is busy one day and you just wake up in a bad mood and dont want to get up. Im not sure if you experience the voices/illusions but what if they tell you to ignore the baby or hurt them.
On the other hand you have EVERY right to be a mum and to want the experience of bringing a baby into this world. The problem with drs these days is that they tend not to take people seriously. If you trust your dr and their advice then speak to them properly, book a long appointment and really go through your options. Dont let them fob you off "with go away and take this medicine" that you have to take for 1 year then spend 2 years coming off of. Chances are, if you're wanting to have a child in the next year or 2 you will need to start coming off of your medication now. to gradually wean yourself off and give your baby every chance and the best possible start in life. Just remember that any drugs in your system will pass onto baby, so if you go ahead and start trying to get pregnant straight away thinking that the 9 months it takes before you give birth will be safe please just remember that its the first few months that the major development goes on. So anything you have taken (most likely in the last 2 years) can affect your baby. It would be so nice to hear that everything is going well for you and that a few years down the line you are happy, settled and enjoying your life as a mum. Babies truly are a blessing and I wish you every success on your road to motherhood xxx
12/19/10 4:49am
JKB,
My wife's mother was finally diagnosed schizophrenic in her 60's. As she was raised by her mother, she saw her mom go through many Jekyl & Hyde moments. Now, 8 years ago in our marraige, my wife was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. We had wanted for years to have children. However, totally different reasons prevented her pregnancies. We have only had one miscarraige. For years, we were mad at God that we didn't have kids. Then for years, we were mad at God for taking away our only child.
Now, we can finally rejoice that our baby is waiting for us in Heaven.
Obviously, each person's situation is different.
One new complication that I am experiencing as the husband in this marriage, is a non-existent sex drive in my wife for the last 3 years since she has been taking Geodon. She wants to be cared for, provided for and hugged. Then stop. and repeat.
Please do enjoy activities with friends that you trust and look for a man that can respect your situation. Trust me, he will have his own situation that needs your caring to help him grow past his drama.
Please seek God's wisdom about His giving you children. God knows what you will be able to handle in your future. No person knows what our future strengths and weaknesses will be. God does. My wife and I now rejoice that we have our 2 cats and no children. We are resting in God's provision for the right direction that He knew all along that we could best handle.
I am being candid about our situation. Hopefully, this helps.
Artie
12/21/10 6:38am
Hi
My wife is paranoid schizophrenic, she became pregnant last year while on medication and ended up having an aborted pregnancy with fetus having gestroschisis defect.
She tried stopping medication during initial days of her pregnancy and that made her situation worst.
It is your life and you have to decide whether you want to try having a baby. You have to work closely with your doctors to help you decide whether you can bear the stress of pregnancy and child birth without worsening your present condition.
5/15/11 9:36pm
I know a couple of women who were pregnant while on meds. There's different classes of meds 1 to like 4 or something. One girl I knew was on Haldol and she was fine and so was her baby. But it's something to ask your doctor or you could start with your nurse if you have one. What happens with most schizophrenic women is that they loose their children to CPS, so be as careful as possible not to loose them to CPS, one way is by taking a med that your doctor says is ok for you. Best of luck to you.
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By jbk— Last Modified: 02/21/12, First Published: 02/13/10
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I think you forget that I'm a human being with the God given right to procreate, maybe you think that I shouldn't be allowed to get married either, so I don't have to put any man through having a sick wife. Or the fact that me not being able to have children will make so he can't. Do you think its going to be easy for me to find a life partner or to have children (which I will be doing whether you think its a good Idea or not) because I will have a man to help me and I will have family support and no being schizophrenic doesn't mean I'm dangerous, actually I don't even kill spiders when I find them in the house. And yes I do find your comment rude and very uneducated. Thanks for making me feel as worthless as I am. Do you think a man is going to want me, I may not be able to have children, I don't tolerate sex very well because I'm emotionally scarred from my illness and I can't leave the house. So PLEASE remind me again why I want to kill myself.