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Hi b,   You are realistic and have been forthright about your limits, and that is a healthy attitude to have because no one is an island and we can't go it alone.   I suggest you call NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, hot line (800) 950-NAMI (6264) to be referred to a local affiliate in your town or city where you can meet once a week with other family members at a family support group.    I'm fond of quoting the Billy Bragg lyrics, "There is a power in a union."  You don't have to go it alone, and chances are, if you tried to do it all on your own, you might not have the strength.  Talking with others who are going through similar situations can give you ideas about how to cope better, and what to do when your husband has an episode.   More than this, I urge you also to immediately find out if there is a NAMI "Family-to-Family" education course in your city or town, it would be worth it to drive there or take the train.  Family-to-Family is taught by trained family members in a 12-week course.  It gives you practical tools and techniques and real-life tested ways to deal with your husband's illness.   Pick up the phone.  Call now.  You won't regret it.  Hopefully, such a course is offered in your area.   Best regards, Chri