I take care of My uncle, and I noticed he will not listen to me when I ask him not to do something. EX: He will drink from the milk container when sick and not sick, he will walk out of his room with only underware on. (I have 4 kids and 1 is a 5 yr old girl.) ETC...
I have asked him many of times too please stop, but he will not listen to me. Why is this???
HI BusyMomWifecaretaker,
Your uncle's behavior is causing you distress and I understand how you feel, because it is inappropriate.
Since you became his caregiver only after he developed SZ, you have no way of knowing whether this behavior happened previously.
SZ is an illness that could result in cognitive deficits, and these cognitive impairments aren't alleviated by the currently available medications. There are drugs in the pipeline that are being researched for this.
My tendency is to tell you that this behavior could be because of the SZ; however, that doesn't excuse his behavior even if it's part of the illness.
My gut is telling me that you would benefit from finding him a residence he can live in.
My tendency [and I'm not a guy, but this is my tendency] is to want to give you some ideas as to how you can solve this problem, instead of simply commiserating with you.
How long has this been going on? How long has he lived with you? I understand he might not be able to live on his own.
The problem as I see it is that he lacks the insight that there is something wrong with his behaviors. How to get him to have this insight so that he can change his behaviors is the trick. You could tell him not to do that because it's inappropriate yet I'm assuming you've tried every tactic to get him to change.
So again, depending on the situation, a residence might be helpful as you have four kids, and some are a young age. You need help, you can't do it alone.
Respectfully,
Christina
When schizophrenia was making me really ill, my ability to concentrate and focus on what others said was almost nil. I really could not remember what they asked me to do. And this may be happening to your uncle. I totally agree with Christina, however, that you you have a lot on your plate with tending to him and meeting your children's needs. If I were you, I would start looking for him a group home or other residence. Is he receiving SSDI (Social Security Disability Income)? If not, he should apply. If he does get it, some residential settings will take someone in with their SSDI accepted as monthly payment.
To me, it sounds imperative that your first responsibility is to your kids. And if your uncle can't abide by the house rules, he needs to go.
Btw, it is incredibly kind of you to let him live with you for any length of time. Perhaps the stable family environment he has had there will enable him to make the transition to another living arrangement.
Best wishes,
Carolyn
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