Hello Beth Wells,

First of all, I want to commend you and your co-workers for understanding and having compassion towards this man.

You are in a delicate situation.

I get the idea that you want some validation for whatever choice you make.

It really depends on the frequency of his absences and whether the accommodations are reasonable that you give him, that is, if giving them to him would allow him to do his job without jeopardizing the running of your business.

One suggestion: create a split schedule where he shares his job duties with another person, or give him half-time hours instead of a full work week.

Also, is it the kind of job where he could come in extra early and leave early, say, he could work from 7:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. if that would be a time period where there is less interaction with others?

I'll be honest:  I don't feel that letting this go on as it has is the best option.  You and the co-workers and supervisors are willing to work around his disabilities, yet the truth is, he may need an anti-anxiety medication if he doesn't already take one, or some kind of therapy so he can address the root cause of his behavior and what's going on in his life.

I know that if I stopped going to work without calling, I would lose my job.

So you and the others have been supportive, and I respect you for that. 

Ask yourself how often he fails to show up and whether this is acceptable for the rest of his tenure with your firm.  He could be with your company for 30 years, right?

At some point, he may have to consider going out on disability.  If so, I would urge you to help faciliate this process.

The last suggestion:  he's a great worker, and if you feel he couldn't be replaced, or you don't want to, that is another option.

Best regards,

Chris