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Monday, June 30, 2008 friend always, Community Member, asks

Q: is it possible to have a healthy relationship w someone w paranoid schizophrenia?

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Answers (3)
Christina Bruni, Health Guide
7/ 2/08 5:12pm

Hello friend always,


It is possible to have a healthy relationship if the person is committed to staying in treatment, has fairly evolved coping skills for dealing with stress, and is able to engage in the give-and-take of two-way communication, and does not play games.  This is for the person with the schizophrenia as well as the partner.


Your tag is "friend always."  Yes, it is possible to be friends with someone who has sz, and it is possible to have a romantic relationship with someone who has the illness.  However, I'm not sure that any relationship that starts out as "friends first" for quite a long time will work if the two friends then decide (months or years later) to be lovers, and this goes for people who don't have the schizophrenia as well.


By the way, I second Daughter's response.  Though I know people with schizophrenia who have had lovely children (some develop an illness, others do not), I wouldn't get pregnant if I had schizophrenia, nor would I choose to have a family, either naturally or via adoption or stepchildren.


It's a decision I've made, and only I had to be okay with it, nobody else in society has the right to judge me for being childless.  I couldn't live with myself if I raised a child and he or she developed the illness.




Don Fraser, Community Member
7/ 1/08 2:12pm

Yes, it is possible.     My earliest diagnosis was Par ,Schizo.         I was happily married (common-law) for 7 years.   My son will be 22 this year       My recovery has been lengthy but in that time I've had 4 other relationships , two with par.schiz. women.

    You speak of health and by that I can assume you mean emotional health and what people would mean when they say"healthy relationship".            If you are the caregiver in the relationship, that is , if you are acting in the medical interest of the individual, a romantic relationship may not be advisable,          However, if the two of you are in love , then nothing can stop you !!             Remember to be patient (pun intended) with your partner .         Bear in mind that their world may not connect at all with yours , the real world.        And know that recovery is possible.    


P.S.   re "caregiver"    Most couples united this way have a partner who is also involved with medical matters.





Don Fraser

ohokay, Community Member
7/ 1/08 5:50pm

My parents met in a state hospital setting in 1980.  They are both mentally ill with schizophrenia, but differ dramatically with their symptoms.  They are still married and love each other dearly.  That is the only healthy thing about either of them.


I would not recommend entering a romantic relationship with someone with schizophrenia, especially if you suffer from it also.  AND for the love of God, do not drag children into the mix.  I'm not telling anyone to not have children, because, well, I wouldn't be here if that were the case.  I'm just saying that it is a rough and tough road for a child with schizophrenic parents. 


Short answer = NO!  sorry

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By friend always, Community Member— Last Modified: 06/18/12, First Published: 06/30/08