wot support can i give my b/friend?
my b/friend has paranoid schizophrenia, when we are alone he is ok but as soon as we try to socialise he starts accussing me of cheatin(even with his brother) or gets angry with me over things he thinks i have done or said. i love him so much and want to help him realise i do and i would never hurt him which he says he knows but it doesnt stop him treating me this way. will we ever be able to have a social life or will it just have to be the two of us to prevent these problems?
I have the same problem, with the belief in cheating girlfriends. There is really no way to convince him, he has to come to terms with the reality that his disease is making him see things where no thing exists. The sad fact is that he may not ever be able to. In his mind you have done everything he has accused you of, and the emotional tragedy of his false belief is as real as if it had truly happened. As to the social life, it will most likely come and go, so if you want to remain with him, there are two things you will have to accept--he will think you are cheating and will lash out because of the pain it causes, even if he was shown incontrovertable truth that it isn't so--and he will vehemently oppose all the normal social interactions you desire. The two go hand in hand, because for him, to go out, is to suffer even more emotional damage from your phantom cheating. Just remember it isn't your fault, but it is your choice. Is he worth it?
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Hello *****,
You love your boyfriend, so I'm going to tell you something you'll need to process: he needs to work on his recovery and develop coping skills to deal with his symptoms. Was he diagnosed with schizophrenia by a professional? If not, he could possibly only be possessive, and that isn't a good thing, isn't healthy for you to be involved with.
So if he has schizophrenia, you need to see if he will consider cognitive behavioral therapy so that he can learn techniques to cope with the symptoms. Is he aware, after he's gotten angry, that it was a symptom he was having? Is he able to cool down and realize you were cheating on him?
His ability to have insight into his illness will be aided with cognitive behavioral therapy specific to someone who has schizophrenia.
The road will be long if you stay with him because recovery is a process, not an endpoint. Like anyone without schizophrenia, he will have as a matter of course good days and bad days. Added to that will be his symptoms and how he manages them. He will need to stay in treatment.
Your question is, "what support can I give my boyfriend?" You can suggest he see a cognitive therapist. You can read up on the schizophrenia and educate yourself. You can take the Family-to-Family course sponsored by NAMI. Call (800) 950-NAMI (6264) to find a local affiliate in your area that offers the course. It is for family members, however, I'm sure you could also attend as your boyfriend is a loved one.
Best wishes,
Chris
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