My son lives in another state. A month ago I went to visit him after being concerned about things he said to me on the phone. He believes that he is able to change the weather with his thoughts, there are people following him, microphones in the wall, his father is not his real dad. I expressed my concern about these thoughts but he would not talk to me about them further without getting upset since I did not "believe" him. He lives on his own and his dad lives nearby. (we are divorced) My son will no longer speak to me on the phone and his father acts as if this is normal. I'm very concerned about my son and not sure how to proceed at this point. I've been attending class with NAMI but I still feel helpless with my son. Should I try again to tell him I think that he needs help.
Q: I believe son is schizophrenic and he will not talk to me since I expressed my concern.
Hello Cheri,
I won't repeat what Carolyn said, she beat me to the best response I could give, which is that I always recommend the Xavier Amador book. You are not alone. Every week I get the same question from a person whose son or daughter lacks awareness that he or he has an illness.
What I can tell you : don't try to convince your son he is sick. Read my SharePost: "Understanding Delusions," http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/120/31844/understanding
Often, the delusions are rooted in some concern the person has that manifests itself in flawed thinking.
Whatever you do, express your love and concern. If you keep trying to convince him he's sick, it will be harder to get him into treatment. As Xavier Amador proves, you can get someone to take medication, even if he doesn't believe he has an illness, if he feels that taking medication will enable him to achieve a life goal. Xavier's brother, Henry, was convinced he wasn't sick, and when Amador used techniques like LEAP and motivational interviewing, he got his brother to seek treatment.
Regards,
Christina
Sometimes family members prefer to deny anything is wrong so it won't be painful to consider, or because they feel inadequate to deal with the situation. Have you and your son had a good relationship in the past? If so, try to build on that. Tell him you love him. Maybe you could ask him if these beliefs are hurting his ability to have friends and be productive at work. If they are, see if he would like to go to a psychiatrist; offer to pay for the visit if he needs help financially. Anyone who doesn't believe he or she has schizophrenia will be hard to convince. But it sounds like now is the time to start treatment, and not let it have a chance to get really entrenched and perhaps end up with him in the hospital like so many of us here have experienced. It is wonderful that you are concerned and caring. Don't give up on finding some way to reach him. There is a book by Xavier Amador titled "I am not sick, I don't need help." He can give you some ideas on how to deal with your son's failure to recognize his illness.
Carolyn
Dear Cheri: Your problem with your son is one of confrontation and your contact with him may " fit in " to the illness that he seems to have. Hallucinations in schizophrenia are often supported and interwoven with delusions or false beliefs.
I am not a health - care professional but I have advised care -givers like yourself on several occasions in the Family to Family course offered in the small city where I live.
If I were to give you advice, based on my own experiences, it would be to just be his friend. Until a health - care professional is involved with him, I would remain neutral. It is unlikely that you can convince him that he is unwell.
I don't know anything about forced hospitalization laws where you live but you might consider that an option.
Sincerely,
Don Fraser
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