Coping with Schizophrenia: Don't Compare Yourself to Others

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Coping Mechanism #1: Do not compare yourself with others or your success in life with what others have achieved. Compete against yourself. Try to make every day just a little bit better than the one before. Work to be the best you can be.

For Consumers: When I was an undergraduate I lived in one of the men's dormitories and had two sets of friends who were mutually exclusive: 1) Superb students, most of whom were largely inactive socially, and 2) students that were average performers in the classroom but quite adept in social situations.

When I compared myself with the first group, I found myself inadequate. My grades were good but not comparable. My social life did not impress them. When I compared myself with the second group, I again found myself inadequate. This group found my social life less than interesting. They thought I was bookish.

It seemed to me that I did not measure up academically or socially; I did not have full membership in either group. I felt humiliated and isolated. This troubled me to the point that I began to feel paralyzed in both fields of endeavor.

I blamed my troubles on the fact that I had schizophrenia. After all, the illness had already been a source of great anguish for me. I assumed the illness was crippling me in some fashion which I could not fathom. Symptoms from an earlier point in my illness began to reappear. My paranoia resurfaced. I began to believe the two groups were plotting against me, that they were tearing me limb from limb. I became terrified, on the verge of becoming dysfunctional.

In talking with Dr. Levy, my psychiatrist at the time, he pointed out that I was competing against the best of the best in both groups. Did I really expect to be among the best at everything? Might I be placing unrealistic expectations upon myself? He recommended that I look at my own unique set of skills and employ the coping mechanism set out above. At the time it was a huge challenge to change my thinking and quell the emotional turmoil in which I was caught, but it was something I could do on my own. It didn't require the approbations or approval of others. I worked hard at it, sometimes teetering on the edge of relapse. The effects were unexpected.