Making Peace with Your Diagnosis

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It's a fine line. What's the solution? How can we tell whether a behavior is willful, or simply part of the illness? I think a caregiver knows. And when it gets too much to bear, I really do believe you have to trust your loved one to the staff of a residence, halfway house, apartment program or group home.

Okay, here's the truth: I had a B.A. in English, and had just graduated from the University when I got sick. I could've stayed at home, and really I wasn't any trouble to my parents, but a year later I moved into a halfway house, and worked my way up to the highest level of supported living in a housing project. That was actually a step up: living in a housing project!

It's also a fine line between giving up on someone and accepting that his or her life has changed dramatically after the SZ set in. Always stay hopeful. To accept that you or your loved one has schizophrenia is the first step toward dealing with your life circumstance at this moment in time. Accepting that you have an illness, or that someone you love does, doesn't mean you have to like having it, but this self-acceptance leads to awareness about what you have to do to cope successfully and live well in recovery.

Life isn't fair. Schizophrenia shoots dirty pool. We need to fight back with everything we've got. The illness doesn't fight fair, and neither should we.

A friend told me that the SZ was my cross to bear in this lifetime. I gladly accept this cross. I don't ask God, "Why?" I ask Him, "What can I do?" Jesus was the most famous person to bear a cross, and he knew what he was up against. I'm not sure this answers the question as to what I can tell loved ones whose son or daughter is on the more troubled side of the spectrum of how the SZ affects him or her.

All I know is that life isn't fair, but it is good. That's the great irreconcilable truth. In my recovery, I've had to change my perceptions to free myself from misery thinking, and that opened a window. My great hope when I graduated college was to become a magazine editor, and then I got sick. When I found my first job, my goal was to rise up in the business world, and that didn't happen either. After I relapsed, I endured failure after failure until I found the job I love and started to have a freelance writing career focused on mental health.

So keep the faith. Stay hopeful. You're not alone in what you're going through. I can't save you or rescue your loved one, but I can show you a different way of looking at how to live in recovery.