Dear Miss A, I broke one of my cardinal dating rules: I had sex with a new man after only our second date. Usually I wait until at least the 5th date so he knows I'm not a slut. I guess I just got lost in the moment with this one. It's been 3 days since we had sex and I haven't heard anything from him. Up until we slept together he has been textin me every day. Should I try to redeem myself with him or move on?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he isn't texting because he's lost interest. Move on, Honey. If you forgot why this was one of your cardinal dating rules, I'm sure now you probably remember. Men are either immediately attracted to a woman, or will never be. He was attracted to you physically, but you didn't give him time to get to know you and become attracted to you emotionally and mentally. You hadn't yet become "special" to him. This isn't to say that all men who you go on dates with and don't sleep with will fall in love with you, but those who aren't falling will likely give up as you aren't an easy target for them. If a guy hangs in there for 5 dates, 1 month, or 2 month (whatever your personal standards are), then he's most likely interested in you as a person and in a relationship with you.
There are those who will claim that women can behave like men sexually, and sure we can. However, emotionally we women aren't prepared to deal with the consequences of this type of behavior. It hurts our self-esteem, whether as women, we want to admit that or not.
We're all human, and make mistakes, so don't be too hard on yourself. Just remember how you are feeling right now, and vow to make a change in your behavior. Remember insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you are doing things while drinking that you regret and wouldn't do sober, you should take a closer look at that.
Hope this helps!
- Miss A
Published On: September 01, 2008