Harboring Bitterness

Miss A Health Guide



    Dear Miss A,

    I am almost embarrassed to ask you about this. I have been dating a guy for almost two years. We have been talking about getting married. We spent Christmas in Florida with his family and then flew on to the Bahamas for New Year's. Early in December, we were talking about ideas for Christmas gifts, and I jokingly said that since the economy is so bad we shouldn't do gifts this year. He became serious and said it was a good idea.


    On Christmas morning, I was shocked that he didn't have a gift for me. Nothing. Not even anything small but thoughtful. I had some gifts for him, and I've been upset about this ever since. Thankfully, his family was kind enough to give me some presents so I wasn't completely left out. He defends himself by saying that it was my idea, and he wasn't expecting anything from me.

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    Needless to say our trip to the Bahamas wasn't our best trip. I've made a couple of nasty comments to him about this, but for the most part I've tried to enjoy our time together. Don't you think he could have bought me something small? Am I wrong to be concerned and upset about this? How could he not get me something? Does this mean that he isn't really into me?

    Still Upset

    Dear Still Upset,

    I can tell you were really offended and hurt that he didn't buy you a Christmas gift. I know that we as women can be very sensitive and take things like this personally. It sounds like your boyfriend really loves you. He invited you to spend the holidays with his family, which says a lot about his feelings for you. I'm also assuming that he took you away to the Bahamas for New Year's. I think you should forgive him. He probably thought you were serious. A lot of guys have no clue what to buy as gifts for the woman they love, and need to be given a list. I'm sure he just thought you all decided not to exchange gifts this year. Try to forget this and move on. I know you're hurt, but it sounds like you have a really good guy from a nice family.


    Good luck,


    Miss A



Published On: January 15, 2009