Top 10 Dating Tips

this is great - i love this post (though i don't necessarily agree 100% with every tip. i'd like to see a top ten things to do in a relationship for men.... can you do that?

Yes, that would be an interesting read -- top ten things to do for your man in a relationship.  When you've moved beyond the realm depicted in your post -- where you're both committed and the relationship's solid.  How do you keep it strong?

Andrea, we men have a bone to pick with you! I see maybe 4 good tips and more than one that we need seriously address.
Hopefully I have enough space to comment on this article.

Lets dive in...

1. Don't Call Him, He'll Call You...or Not.

Andrea, I understand that you're trying to say, "don't chase the guys down, ladies".. sure okay. But a little initiation couldn't hurt anyone. Ladies..you would impress the women's liberation movement as well as some of those shy guys if you stepped up once in a blue moon and gave someone a call. It's JUST a phone call, it doesn't MEAN anything more or less. And just because the next guy calls you first, doesn't MEAN he's the one, either.

Andrea, come on.. grandmothers give this kind of advice. And let's be frank, you're not really sharing anything that the great majority of women already..don't do. Moving on...

Note to fellas: Man up dude, you have to make the first move..always. They're not going to..case in point.

2. The Double Standard Still Exists

Ladies, you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing. Every guy you meet brings a different vibe, and it's only "too fast" if you think it's going too fast..for you. Not anyone else's standard..not Andrea's, not mine, not your girlfriends, not your parents, not anyone but YOU. That's how adults do things.

"Men really do think it's perfectly acceptable for them to sleep around and "score" with as many women as possible, but they don't want a girlfriend or wife to have done the same."

Honestly, I really feel for you ladies. You don't just get pressure from us guys to put out AND at same time not be promiscuously easy, but you get pressure from you own kind as well! Andrea, what the heck are you saying here? This is sound advice? I think I just saw the women's movement get rolled back a couple of decades in one sentence.

Ladies..many (weak) men perhaps think like that, but not all men. Some men understand that having a non-exclusive relationship means that their ladies are free to do as they please with their bodies. As long as there's honest understanding where things are with all players involved, it's fine in whatever way you and him choose to arrange it and it's no one else's damn business!

When will men and women stop trying to control each other!? We not each other's property! Be honest with what you want and accept others the way they are. Stop trying to control us, because you can't, no more than we can control you.

"All men you meet in life want to see you naked and have sex with you."

Thanks Andrea, for perpetuating yet another double standard..(rolling eyes) AS IF women don't want to see us naked and have sex with us. Or worse, as if even admitting that women do.. is somehow.. bad. Common Andrea..women love sex as much, if not more then men. It's sad frankly, that society can't quite reconcile that fact.

"Make them wait. Three dates is not long enough."

Four dates? What? Something magical happens after four dates? In Andreas world, apparently it does. Good to know. Whatever happened to developing a connection? Some passion? Living in the moment? All that fanastic stuff?

EVIL SUBTEXT ALERT FROM ANDREA: "Don't call first, 4 dates min, and it's not perfectly acceptable to sleep around and "score" with as many men as possible..slut."

#2 is just so wrong on so many levels.

Ladies, do what you feel is best for you, and don't be shy to express it.

The problem I have with this Andrea, is that you're drawing a line in the sand that implies that anyone not reaching it is going too fast. Too fast for you, my dear, perhaps. Let the rest of the adults play however they want and stop judging them.

3. Dress for the Role You Want To Play.

Finally the first piece decent advice, althought kind of cliche. That's like don't play with matches or walk down dark alleys late at night kind of advice.

Ladies, just because you dress a certain way, doesn't mean you are a certain way, but it sure can be confusing for us guys. -Dave Chappelle

...I'm still dizzy from #2...

4. If He Seems To Good To Be True, He Probably Is.

"We're all familiar with the whirlwind romance. It starts with Romeo spotting you across the proverbial crowded room. Next thing you know, he's professing his love, wining and dining you, whisking you away to sunny locales, and talking about spending forever with you. Well, watch.."

Ladies, I'd say steer clear of the guys willing to pay for your attention. Enough said.

5. Live and Let Live.

"Get a life, and let him have a life, too."

Bingo, we have a winner.

6. Listen More, Talk Less.

Yes and no. I would have said something like.. "A conversation is a two way street. So engage, just don't go into overdrive." ..and left it at that.

7. Never Say 'I Love You' First.

"Just don't do it, Ladies. I learned this one the hard way. I remember one relationship where I said it after 6 months of dating. He said nothing. The silence was deafening. It was horrible. I should have just ended it right then and there, but I hung in there."

O..M..G.. Andrea, one awkward situation in a one relationship in your past and that's your evidence to support this as good advice?? OBJECTION your honor! Counsel is seriously projecting. That's just a guy that didn't know how to handle... you. Geez, and I was just starting to feel better from #2...

"The feeling was never reciprocated. It was awkward and very frustrating. If you have fallen in love with a man, keep it to yourself until he says that he loves you."

Obviously this was a painful incident for you Andrea, I am sorry to hear that. However, I call foul on you. You said it with the expectation that he was suppose to reciprocate it back to you. Psst.. that's emotional manipulation, Andrea... not cool. You don't give someone a gift, expecting to be paid back for it.

A gift.. means no strings attached.

Ladies, say it when you feel like it and expect nothing else. It's an expression of love... its not a negociable deal to be haggled over. Just because he keeps silent or doesn't quite say what you were hoping to hear, doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore or any less. Some guys..just don't like verbalizing. Read his ACTIONS, not his silences, you'll be far better off.

NOTE TO GUYS: Guys, don't believe the hype here. You don't owe women anything if they say it to you, and not saying it back does NOT automatically imply you don't love them. Stick to the "don't say anything you don't mean" policy, and you'll do a lot better.

Andrea..sounds like someon needs a hug.

8. Watch How A Guy Treats His Mother.

"If the guy yells at his mother, and she's still doing his laundry and paying his bills, run!"

I say run from any guy that flies off the handle too easily, not matter what. Yelling is not acceptable. Mom doing laundry and bills? Yeah bad news. But don't confuse that with the guy that's taking care of Mom by living with her. That may not be ideal, but neither are single women with kids, and they need love too. Again, read their actions..

9. A Guy Will Usually Turn Out To Be Very Much Like His Father.

Or very much the polar opposite. It just depends, some traits will be very similar, while others will be a complete rejection of the examples their father figures set forth... that is if there is even a father to begin with.

I don't think this is good enough to be considered advice. This is like saying "tell me who you friends are, and I'll tell you who you are" is sufficient enough advice to judge all people. Neither is good enough in my book.. better to always judge individuals based on.. can we say it together now? Their actions.

10. Sometimes Love Is Not Enough.

"You need more than love to make a relationship work. You need trust, lust and respect. You also need good communication, common interests, and the resolve to make it work ..."  ..aaand you should have left at that, Andrea. Amen.