1. Don't Call Him, He'll Call You...or Not.
If a man wants to see you again, he'll make it happen. If you're not worth a phone call, that should tell you something. And why are you interested in a man who doesn't think you're worth calling? If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. I mean you could hit the guy over the head with a big stick and drag him back to your apartment, but you'd wake up the next morning with a guy who didn't make any effort to see you, and now that you've hit him over the head he certainly doesn't want to see you again!
2. The Double Standard Still Exists.
It's 2009, and Barack Obama is in the White House, but some barriers haven't been broken. Men really do think it's perfectly acceptable for them to sleep around and "score" with as many women as possible, but they don't want a girlfriend or wife to have done the same. All men you meet in life want to see you naked and have sex with you. Make them wait. Three dates is not long enough. Make them wait a good month or two. Many will move on to an easier target, but the ones who stick around will want to see you naked and have sex with you, AND they'll like you as a person.
3. Dress for the Role You Want To Play.
If you want to be seen as "girlfriend material", dress like a girlfriend. If you dress like a skank, don't be surprised if you're seen as "a one night stand". Whether it's fair or not, your attire speaks volumes about you. You will be judged not only by how you dress, but by how you present yourself. If you have to give lap dances, pole dance, or make out with girls to get a guy's attention, you may want to look for another guy who is actually interested in you.
4. If He Seems To Good To Be True, He Probably Is.
We're all familiar with the whirlwind romance. It starts with Romeo spotting you across the proverbial crowded room. Next thing you know, he's professing his love, wining and dining you, whisking you away to sunny locales, and talking about spending forever with you. Well, watch out, Ladies. As romantic as this all is, and I've been there, the reality is that it takes time to get to know someone. We don't want to see the truth, because it's all too exciting and glamorous. Keep an eye out for this type. There is always a catch!
5. Live and Let Live.
Get a life, and let him have a life, too. Don't make the guy you're seeing the center of the universe. Spend time with your friends. Stay focused on your career or school. Have hobbies, interests and get involved in your community. This will give you interesting things to talk about with him, and you'll be independent which men prefer. This also means that he needs to get a life. If he's camping out at your apartment 24/7, you need to do something about that. It may seem flattering at first, but you need your time alone and you need your time with friends.
6. Listen More, Talk Less.
I'm sure you all have heard the saying, "God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak." How are you going to learn if you're the one doing all the talking? Don't feel like you have to fill the silence.
7. Never Say 'I Love You' First.
Just don't do it, Ladies. I learned this one the hard way. I remember one relationship where I said it after 6 months of dating. He said nothing. The silence was deafening. It was horrible. I should have just ended it right then and there, but I hung in there. The feeling was never reciprocated. It was awkward and very frustrating. If you have fallen in love with a man, keep it to yourself until he says that he loves you. If he doesn't say it within 6 months, move on. It's just too painful to stick around. Never love someone who doesn't love you back.
8. Watch How A Guy Treats His Mother.
If you do get to the point where the guy you're seeing introduces you to his mother, or opens up to you about his family, take note. If he is polite to her, and does nice things for her, and has a good relationship, you've found a good one. If the guy yells at his mother, and she's still doing his laundry and paying his bills, run!
9. A Guy Will Usually Turn Out To Be Very Much Like His Father.
Ladies, we know guys check out our mother's to see what we'll look like in 30 years. Well, we also need to take a look at a guy's father. Does his father cheat? Is his father on his 4th wife? Is his father henpecked, or is he catered to? Does his father spend a lot of time golfing or hunting with the guys? Is his father very social? Is he vain? You can learn a great deal from all of this.
10. Sometimes Love Is Not Enough.
You need more than love to make a relationship work. You need trust, lust and respect. You also need good communication, common interests, and the resolve to make it work which often comes from a belief in a higher power.
Published On: February 28, 2009