Friday, June 01, 2012

Why Women Stay

By Eileen Bailey, Health Guide Wednesday, October 05, 2011
I am a survivor of domestic abuse. Over the many years since I left my abuser, I have been asked "why do women stay in an abusive relationship?" There is no simple answer and certainly I would not be able to answer for all women but here are my thoughts.Physical abuse rarely starts right away. Often,...
Parenting Aspies: Meltdowns in Public
10/ 5/11 2:33pm

I am also a survivor of domestic violence and abuse. I was able to brake the cycle when my own mother attacked my child.  I end up the cycle thanks to the lessons of my late husband.  I did not wanted the same for her with a situation that I suspected since she was 4 years old.  The attack finally brought a diagnosis for my child at 13 years old ADHD, GAD, Major Anxiety and Sleep Disorder.  I was able to brake the cycle that my Mom never broke and now wshe has become and abuser. Being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis I need peace. 

 

Yes, there is no anwer to why other do not brake that cycle, but on a city without resources it does not surprise me.  Now I teach my child to be alert and not settle for this attitude, but it is not easy been alone.

Eileen Bailey, Health Guide
10/27/11 6:07pm

I hope that you are doing well. It is good that you have been able to break the cycle of abuse in your family. It sounds like some good has come of this, keep trying, I know it can be hard sometimes but it is worth it to not have to worry about whether you will be abused each day when you wake up.

 

Please check back and let me know how you are doing.

 

Eileen

10/27/11 8:30pm

Eileen Bailey 6339, I believe that what it hurts is the realization of this nightmare. This was helpful; it is good that I have been able to break the cycle of abuse in your family. Yes, some good has come of this, and I have to keep trying.  It is hard period, but it is worth it to not have to worry about whether you will be abused each day when. you wake up. I will check back from time to time and let you all know how I am doing. Now I am back studying.

Eileen Bailey, Health Guide
11/ 5/11 9:13am

What are you studying for? It sounds like you are taking big steps to change your life for the better, how wonderful for you. I wish you the best.

 

Eileen

Lene Andersen, Health Guide
10/ 7/11 9:38pm

Amazing post, Eileen. You described so clearly how what seems romantic at first becomes control - how it doesn't start that way, but takes tiny steps over time. Thanks for telling us about the red flags. Thanks for sharing your story.

Eileen Bailey, Health Guide
10/27/11 6:08pm

Thanks Lene, sometimes it is just good to know that you aren't "crazy" or alone and that other's are going through the same situation. Hopefully our month of awareness on domestic violence will help someone move from an abusive relationship to one of peace.

 

Thanks for all you did this month to make this happen.

 

Eileen

Lene Andersen, Health Guide
10/27/11 6:19pm

The way I see it, if we helped just one person get safe, we did good.

 

And from our end, it was a pleasure to work on such a lareg team!

 

 

10/10/11 11:45am

Kids who are emotionally abused by parents stand a better chance of being married to abusers..... because its what they are used to dealing with.  I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive mom, then married too young to an abuser.  you described perfectly the transition from romance, to jealousy, to physical abuse. I stayed for 12 years....  

Eileen Bailey, Health Guide
10/27/11 6:11pm

Yaya

 

I am so glad that you are out now. It is such a terrible experience and you are so right, children exposed to this type of life learn that it is acceptable. I left when my son was quite young and not having him see it was a strong motivator for me to get up the courage to leave.

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

Eileen

By Eileen Bailey, Health Guide— Last Modified: 11/06/11, First Published: 10/05/11