I'm glad that there are sex therapists out there. I'm trying to work up the guts to go in to see one. I just haven't become brave enough. I can't allow myself to have sex and it is keeping me from having relationships. I freak out because I know that my partner will want to have sex and at my age, I'm afraid of telling anyone that I'm still (technically) a virgin at 30 years old and will need to be slowly eased into it. It's to the point where I start panicking at the idea of having to go out on a date now. 

I was unlucky enough to have the trifecta of sexual avoidance causes happen to me. Sexual molestation, being taught that sex is dirty, and being told that first time sex is extremely painful. I've made some peace with it, but I know that eventually I'll have to get treatment to help me work through it. Writing this down is a step, because previously I'd have said nothing but wished I had.

Now hopefully I can work on contacting someone and stop making excuses as to why I can't. (Oh, but my insurance. Oh but I have no time. Oh but I "seem" happy enough now.)

NOHARD

12/27/11 5:37am

The first thing, making love or having sex wirh a loved one is not dirty, two bodys entwined is so, its just has to be exspearanced.

OK try this as a start, thats when you get together with somebody you love that is, first to get over the dirty bit is to go and shower together, so your now clean, wet and warm, now just towel you both down, rub in some scented oils and let the next bit commence, this as you make your way to a warm candle lite bedroom, the next bit you will find is heavan and won't wont to leave not for a few hours. yes its the making love bit with I hope a very loving person.

Good Luck for a loving and sexy future.