During the ten years I’ve been coaching women, I’ve worked with many successful career women. Something that is very common among them is that they forget how to flirt. They’ve devoted so much time and effort into building their careers and becoming part of a “man’s” world, that they forget how to flirt.
Now don’t mistake what I’m saying. The world is pretty equal in a lot of ways, and women are very successful in the business world. Women have become equally independent to men in many cases, buying their own homes and achieving financial success equal to (or sometimes greater than) men.
The way most successful career women became successful, though, is they fought for it. They played “the man’s game.” They challenged men head-on in the boardroom, at business meetings, in court and in sales.
They were tough. They were ambitious. They were competitive. They were aggressive. They took charge.
All of these qualities are fantastic for women to have and utilize to become successful in their careers. They are the same qualities that men can carry over into their dating lives and which will attract women they meet. As a woman, though, the reverse is not really true.
If you’re a woman and you’re out on a date, the guy doesn’t want to be interrogated by the CEO. The guy also doesn’t want to be interrogated by the top saleswoman, lawyer, or executive. The guy wants to be with the feminine part of you.
So what you need to do when you’re out on a date is to bring out your feminine side. You need to bring out the woman that the guy wants to see.
Now granted, unless you’ve just met a man he already knows what you do for a living and how successful you are. So don’t think I’m talking about hiding or downplaying any of your career success. I’m also not talking about you needing to be less successful than any man you date.
What I’m saying is that it’s okay to let a man be “the man” in the dating dynamic. A lot of women have become the man in their relationships. They’ve become the CEO of their relationships. They’ve become the CEO of the bedroom.
Now I understand that it can difficult for women to initially switch gears between how they act at work and how they act when they’re in a personal relationship with men. I also don’t want any woman to think that men don’t appreciate some of these “career qualities” in women. Men love women who are smart and passionate about their lives.
The fact of the matter is, though, that it is your feminine energy that attracts men to you – it’s the way you act, the way you smell, the way you touch and the way you taste. So if you’re looking to connect with men on a deeper level, you need to be able to separate the “work you” from the “personal side you.”
Men need to see the personal side of you and experience your feminine energy when you’re out on a date with them, because they don’t want to go out with an interrogator. They don’t want to feel like they’re on a job interview. They don’t want to feel like they’re being evaluated and questioned.
This is a quality that a lot of very successful women bring into the dating world. They interact with men on a date the same way they interact with men on the job. While men will respect you for this in the boardroom, it will not create attraction for you in the dating world.
If you are one of these successful career women, you need to find your feminine side again so you can take her out when you leave the office. In order to become a great feminine woman again, you need to tap into the very sexy side of you that you’ve hidden.
Remember that when you’re on a date with a man, that you don’t have to battle him like you do men at work. You don’t need to battle with us at dinner. You don’t need to battle with us in the bedroom. Then again, a battle in the bedroom can sometimes be a lot of fun . . .
Published On: September 25, 2008