When women speak to each other, they tend to understand each other very well - it comes from emotional intelligence. Sometimes, they can even finish each other's sentences and truly empathize with each other's emotions. When you say the same thing to men, they just don't get it much of the time. They say exactly what the expert above has just said: "You're being overly emotional." A women will carefully choose every word for its particular shade of meaning and to some guys, it's just wordy and longwinded.
In university, there are A students who are able to grasp complicated, abstract concepts and there are C students who are less able to do so. It is not that the article they are reading is itself overly complicated - it is that some students are able to understand complexity while others don't get it and just think the article is boring.
I have known some amazing men who had exceptional emotional intelligence. These men usually have sisters, or grew up around women, and so are capable of understanding them because they have learned to do so. Sometimes they are just naturals, but that is rare. At any rate, they speak the language.
I have found the best way to speak to the average guy is to be as concise as possible. As a woman, I save my deeper, richer thoughts for other women or emotionally intelligent men. Trying to talk to a man who does not get it, is a frustrating experience.
Ladies, my advice is don't bother sharing all your beautiful, delicate thoughts with a brick wall of a man. Try sharing one little thought first and see what he does with it - one spoonful at a time. If he is a good, caring guy, he will respond with understanding. If he is rationally intelligent, but bereft in terms of emotional intelligence, you'll know - don't waste time on a guy like this - he is simply not capable of the depth of love you deserve.
Part of the MENSA entrance test is demonstrating that you understand the subtle meanings of a particular word. Some people think that words like 'good', 'positive' and 'beautiful' all mean basically the same thing - they are reductionists who prefer simplicity. However, intelligence allows a person to grasp the deeper meanings; the less obvious meanings. I think that some men are perceptive and I LOVE them for it. I will be friends with any man who is basically good at heart even if he doesn't understand everything a woman has to say. However, now that I am older and wiser, I can promise you I will never entangle myself romantically with a man who thinks I'm being "overly emotional" when I express my deeper thoughts. Just because he doesn't get it, does not mean that you don't have something important, meaningful and specific to say.
The comments of the expert above are valuable in the sense that he is telling you how men generally think, but the advice also tells you to change your approach. I don't think you need to change - I think you need to pick your audience:) If you want to speak to less perceptive men, then yes, you will have to take the emotion out of it - they won't get it. However, I would definitely encourage you to seek out emotionally intelligent men who do get it - they do exist; I know because I've met them. And if you can't find one, talk to your best friends in the meantime. Don't squash your complexity because you can't find someone to understand it. You go ahead and bloom and you will then attract a bee who knows about honey;)
xo
SJF
When women speak to each other, they tend to understand each other very well - it comes from emotional intelligence. Sometimes, they can even finish each other's sentences and truly empathize with each other's emotions. When you say the same thing to men, they just don't get it much of the time. They say exactly what the expert above has just said: "You're being overly emotional." A women will carefully choose every word for its particular shade of meaning and to some guys, it's just wordy and longwinded.
In university, there are A students who are able to grasp complicated, abstract concepts and there are C students who are less able to do so. It is not that the article they are reading is itself overly complicated - it is that some students are able to understand complexity while others don't get it and just think the article is boring.
I have known some amazing men who had exceptional emotional intelligence. These men usually have sisters, or grew up around women, and so are capable of understanding them because they have learned to do so. Sometimes they are just naturals, but that is rare. At any rate, they speak the language.
I have found the best way to speak to the average guy is to be as concise as possible. As a woman, I save my deeper, richer thoughts for other women or emotionally intelligent men. Trying to talk to a man who does not get it, is a frustrating experience.
Ladies, my advice is don't bother sharing all your beautiful, delicate thoughts with a brick wall of a man. Try sharing one little thought first and see what he does with it - one spoonful at a time. If he is a good, caring guy, he will respond with understanding. If he is rationally intelligent, but bereft in terms of emotional intelligence, you'll know - don't waste time on a guy like this - he is simply not capable of the depth of love you deserve.
Part of the MENSA entrance test is demonstrating that you understand the subtle meanings of a particular word. Some people think that words like 'good', 'positive' and 'beautiful' all mean basically the same thing - they are reductionists who prefer simplicity. However, intelligence allows a person to grasp the deeper meanings; the less obvious meanings. I think that some men are perceptive and I LOVE them for it. I will be friends with any man who is basically good at heart even if he doesn't understand everything a woman has to say. However, now that I am older and wiser, I can promise you I will never entangle myself romantically with a man who thinks I'm being "overly emotional" when I express my deeper thoughts. Just because he doesn't get it, does not mean that you don't have something important, meaningful and specific to say.
The comments of the expert above are valuable in the sense that he is telling you how men generally think, but the advice also tells you to change your approach. I don't think you need to change - I think you need to pick your audience:) If you want to speak to less perceptive men, then yes, you will have to take the emotion out of it - they won't get it. However, I would definitely encourage you to seek out emotionally intelligent men who do get it - they do exist; I know because I've met them. And if you can't find one, talk to your best friends in the meantime. Don't squash your complexity because you can't find someone to understand it. You go ahead and bloom and you will then attract a bee who knows about honey;)
xo
SJF