Women Show Your Interest: 4 Reasons Why

I have a confession as a man that I need to make to all the women: We men are clueless about anything subtle that you do. We really are. You need to be obvious to get our attention.

If you’re familiar with what I teach to women, you know that I tell women over and over again that they need to give men “buying signals” if they want men to approach them. “Buying signals” are things that tell men that you are receptive to their approach, including things like smiling, looking at men, and saying hello to men.

In response to this advice, I have countless women tell me “David, I look at men and smile at men but they still don’t approach me. I don’t think these “buying signals” work.” When I delve deeper into exactly what these women are doing that they are perceiving to be “buying signals,” though, nine times out of ten what they are doing I can guarantee are not being noticed by men at all because what they are doing is not obvious enough.

It comes down to an issue of women not understanding how men are wired. In this article I am going to give some insight on how men are wired and give you ladies four reasons why it’s not only okay for you to show interest to men, but indeed why you need to do so.

1. Men Don’t Pay Attention To Small Details: For any of you who have lived with a man (whether it was a boyfriend, a husband or a brother), this will probably sound familiar. As you leave the house one day, you ask a man to clean up or straighten up a bit while you’re gone. So what does he do? He goes to the sink, puts a few things in the dishwasher . . . and that’s it. Meanwhile there are still dog hair tumbleweeds traveling across the living room floor and laundry piles up to the ceiling. When questioned about those, he inevitably says “I didn’t notice those.”

Men don’t notice small details. They have no idea about the little clues. Men need the obvious. Women need to really understand this, especially when it comes to communicating their interest in men.

2. Understand How Men Interpret Your Subtlety: Women need to realize that it is not only okay, but necessary, that they show men they are interested. So many women I’ve coached will tell me they flirt with men all the time but never get any response. When I ask them what they did that they are calling “flirting,” virtually every one will tell me they “glanced over at him a couple times” or they “smiled at him a couple times quickly” or something similar.

These two second glances and quick smiles simply do not constitute flirting in the eyes of a man. They are simply not obvious enough. When many women go to flirt with a man, they do something they believe to be flirting but which is in reality is something too subtle for that man to notice it. So despite that woman’s interest, the man will leave that situation thinking she didn’t like him.