Sign in

or Register now

SexualHealthConnection.com

See all of our health sites at www.HealthCentral.com
Wednesday, November, 25, 2009
  • Font size

What You Can Do To Prevent Sexual Assault

Merely Me
Merely Me
Close
Published writer, infertility survivor, and finally a mom

First and foremost I am the mom to two boys. They truly are a...

Merely Me

Monday, March 30, 2009
View All of Merely Me's Posts
It is something we don't like to think about.  We think that it can't happen to us.  But in fact sexual assault is a crime which happens far more than most people realize.  In fact the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network reports that sexual assault occurs every two minutes in the ...
  1. Untitled Comment
    Paul
    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 08:48 AM

    The fact is that a certain number of men given what they believe are the right circumstances will not take no, or think it is actually meant, as an answer. Varied are the reasons. And there are a certain number are rapists in any event. Nevertheless, "no" is an absolute.

     

    Message

    Women try to be to nice in saying no in social (bars, parties) situations. They smile and try to not hurt feelings, but when it comes to guy making sexual advances, the most stern, serious, no nonsense reply, forgetting social niceties, will usually get the message across much better. Too much alcohol or any drugs are no-no's, either one,  and women can lose control of a situation and become prey to those perverts, and those who think  no woman really means no, to them. Either one, and some guys change and become criminals. Once the "No" line is crossed, that's what they are.
     
    Women who assert themselves, try to control, do better. Who, in the absence of a deadly weapon fight for all they're worth, yell, scream, scratch, claw, do better - there is a school who say do the opposite. I believe the situation will dictate a woman's response.
     
     In any case, all people are not created equal, some women or men, cannot think fast or conclude properly, most really can't in sheer terror situations. Or are simply not strong enough. My main point is, all of them are victims. Those who successfully fight off an assault and those who are raped without a fight, they all did what they thought was best and none of them deserved what happened. Not one, for any reason.
    Trying to follow as much of your advice as possible, will prevent many assaults. Thank you for compiling and writing this.
    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Merely Me
    Tuesday, April 07, 2009 at 07:05 PM

    These are absolutely excellent points!  Yes...alcohol can impair a woman's judgement and ability to properly assess the danger of a situation.  I have seen too many women victimized because they were so out of it due to drugs or alcohol. 

     

    And I totally agree with you too that when a woman says "No" and this is not respected then the man has crossed a line. 

     

    Thank you so much for your response.  I am hoping people will read and maybe this will help someone.

    Reply
  2. rape
    boneman
    Wednesday, April 01, 2009 at 11:33 PM

    Sis was extremely lucky.

    Learn the martial arts, and I don't mean just a year or two, but rather, seriously learn it to stop a man (or a woman) from the 'control' bit.

    Talking IS a great way to stop it from someone who is reasonable.

    But, from my understanding, most rapuists are NOT reasonable and need to be stopped, no questions asked.

    I don't mean for a continuing beating on the person when they are down, but rather, enough to stop them long enugh to get away.

    Then again, a reasonable beating may just convince that person that rape is no way to converse with other people.

     

    Reply
    re: rape
    Merely Me
    Tuesday, April 07, 2009 at 07:01 PM

    You are absolutely right.  My sister was lucky! 

     

    Martial arts are good but also a class in self defense is even better because you learn targeted skills to defend yourself.  It is scary to think about being in such a situation.

     

    Your comment is much appreciated. 

    Reply
  3. Untitled Comment
    Anonymous
    Thursday, April 02, 2009 at 04:33 PM

    Very good advice.  I would add that it is a good idea to check under your car if you are parked in a parking garage with cars on either side.  Sounds stupid but I have heard of someone hiding like that, and perhaps even better,  if you can, have someone walk with you into such an environment.  After an assault where I used to work,  security began walking women to their cars when they had to work after hours.  Mostly,  as you note, its good to be aware.

    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Merely Me
    Tuesday, April 07, 2009 at 06:57 PM

    Thank you for this extra tip.  Yes it is possible for someone to hide under the car as well.  It is good to park in lit areas and if possible to have an escort.  I don't want to make people paranoid but it is best to be careful.

     

    Thank you for your comment.

    Reply
  4. Personal Experiences
    Jane Doe
    Thursday, September 10, 2009 at 08:28 AM

    I would say this is geared towards mothers who have teenage daughters. I would like to think most mothers are more intunned than my own was. She didnt teach me about what could happen if I took drugs or drank at a party. She simply told me not to do it. So I would say in case this is not already something good moms do that...

     

    Make sure you tell your daughters it would be staight up dumb to ever accept a drink at a party unless you yourself have poured it and made sure there is not already something at the bottem of the glass(even if it is a harmless soda). Also do not ever take a drag off some elses cigarette. Reason being that I personally discovered that you can lace a smoke without it being noticable. Even worse you wouldnt really know you were just drugged depending on what it is.

     

    When I was rapped It was at a small get together only 4 people including myself. I was there with my best friend and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend invited over one of his friends he wanted me to meet. I already had a boyfriend so it was just to meet to hang out and make a new friend. I was out of smokes and he rolled me one of his. I watched him do it it was all normal. I smoked it it was still normal. The tabacco even looked normal I watched him take it out of the pouch they come in at the store. The truth I learned later...He had dipped the paper in some kind of drug. All I know was I was fine and within one minute I went lifeless. Could not move could not speak nothing...unfortunaley still awake and seeing everything. To this day I do not know what it was exactley but all my Chicago street taught fighting skills did me no good. The pepper spray in my purse did me no good and even my own voice abandoned me. In truth the worst part was seeing my best friend no do anything about it. All she did was smoke pot and still made such a horrible judgment call.

     

    I guess what I am saying is...Teach your girls as much as you can as fast as you can. Dont wait for them to bring it up to you. I was rapped 3 times before I hit 18. Since then I have self taught myself on evrything I need to know to be safe. I would hate to think parents would not give the gorry possible details of what could happen to them because they thought there kids wernt doing anything bad. In my case I WAS with people my own Mother met and liked. SO then it is a matter of teaching what to look out for even when your kids are with there best friends.

    Reply
  • Font size
  • Bookmark
  • Thank you for your input
  • Save
  • RSS
  • Report Abuse

Ask a Question

Get answers from our experts and community members.

View all questions (3742) >