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Sis was extremely lucky.
Learn the martial arts, and I don't mean just a year or two, but rather, seriously learn it to stop a man (or a woman) from the 'control' bit.
Talking IS a great way to stop it from someone who is reasonable.
But, from my understanding, most rapuists are NOT reasonable and need to be stopped, no questions asked.
I don't mean for a continuing beating on the person when they are down, but rather, enough to stop them long enugh to get away.
Then again, a reasonable beating may just convince that person that rape is no way to converse with other people.
Very good advice. I would add that it is a good idea to check under your car if you are parked in a parking garage with cars on either side. Sounds stupid but I have heard of someone hiding like that, and perhaps even better, if you can, have someone walk with you into such an environment. After an assault where I used to work, security began walking women to their cars when they had to work after hours. Mostly, as you note, its good to be aware.
I would say this is geared towards mothers who have teenage daughters. I would like to think most mothers are more intunned than my own was. She didnt teach me about what could happen if I took drugs or drank at a party. She simply told me not to do it. So I would say in case this is not already something good moms do that...
Make sure you tell your daughters it would be staight up dumb to ever accept a drink at a party unless you yourself have poured it and made sure there is not already something at the bottem of the glass(even if it is a harmless soda). Also do not ever take a drag off some elses cigarette. Reason being that I personally discovered that you can lace a smoke without it being noticable. Even worse you wouldnt really know you were just drugged depending on what it is.
When I was rapped It was at a small get together only 4 people including myself. I was there with my best friend and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend invited over one of his friends he wanted me to meet. I already had a boyfriend so it was just to meet to hang out and make a new friend. I was out of smokes and he rolled me one of his. I watched him do it it was all normal. I smoked it it was still normal. The tabacco even looked normal I watched him take it out of the pouch they come in at the store. The truth I learned later...He had dipped the paper in some kind of drug. All I know was I was fine and within one minute I went lifeless. Could not move could not speak nothing...unfortunaley still awake and seeing everything. To this day I do not know what it was exactley but all my Chicago street taught fighting skills did me no good. The pepper spray in my purse did me no good and even my own voice abandoned me. In truth the worst part was seeing my best friend no do anything about it. All she did was smoke pot and still made such a horrible judgment call.
I guess what I am saying is...Teach your girls as much as you can as fast as you can. Dont wait for them to bring it up to you. I was rapped 3 times before I hit 18. Since then I have self taught myself on evrything I need to know to be safe. I would hate to think parents would not give the gorry possible details of what could happen to them because they thought there kids wernt doing anything bad. In my case I WAS with people my own Mother met and liked. SO then it is a matter of teaching what to look out for even when your kids are with there best friends.
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The fact is that a certain number of men given what they believe are the right circumstances will not take no, or think it is actually meant, as an answer. Varied are the reasons. And there are a certain number are rapists in any event. Nevertheless, "no" is an absolute.
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These are absolutely excellent points! Yes...alcohol can impair a woman's judgement and ability to properly assess the danger of a situation. I have seen too many women victimized because they were so out of it due to drugs or alcohol.
And I totally agree with you too that when a woman says "No" and this is not respected then the man has crossed a line.
Thank you so much for your response. I am hoping people will read and maybe this will help someone.