The Sexual Health Connection Question of the Week!

Hi Suzanne!

I am very happy to see you!  Thank you so much for coming on over.

Yep...it is hard when you have so much on your plate.  You have neurological stuff going on, depression, you have three kids to take care of, and you are in those pre-menopause years.  These all can make it very difficult to muster up any libido.

We have to find a way for you to get your mojo back!

I am just going to toss out all sorts of ideas...and see if anything sounds interesting.

First of all...there are tons of books on this subject so know that you are not alone in this.  Here is one I found on the topic.

And here is an article by a doctor about the female libido and factors which can affect it.

There are also reports that a testosterone patch can help.  I need to investigate this further to see if it is all that it is cracked up to be and about safety issues.  But here is a news report on the testosterone patch for you to read.

Would you say that the issues you are having are more of a desire issue or are there some physical problems as well (such as decreased lubrication or numbness down there)

If it is just the desire part...I have some ideas which I will list below:

*  Most women need to feel relaxed before they can fully enjoy sex.  If it is possible to take a warm bath or get a massage from your husband...these things can help relax you and set the mood.

*  Feeling energized and good about yourself can help...and exercise is one way to do this.  Is exercise something you have time for or are able to do at this point in your life?  It will help with the depression too. 

*  I believe that sexuality begins between the ears.  Your brain provides the most powerful aphrodisiac and that is fantasy.  What has turned you on in the past?  Can you share some of your fantasies with your husband. 

*  Sometimes sexual toys can enhance the experience and ensure that you will orgasm.  A vibrator can definitely make things more enjoyable for you.

*  Romance can re-kindle the fires.  It is especially hard when you have kids though.  Is there any way that you can get a babysitter?  Can you get a date night where you can dress up and look sexy and flirt with your husband?

These are just some ideas...I know from reading you about some of your situation but I don't know all.  Basically though...you want to get to a point where you look forward to and enjoy sex again.  It is a great stress reliever and it will bring you closer to your husband. 

I hope this helps some!  Thank you so much for stopping by here.  I hope you stay.

Hello and welcome!

This is an interesting problem indeed.  The first thing I want to ask is...have you asked your doctor about this?  I know it may seem embarrassing but they might know what is going on due to your situation. 

What sort of meds are you taking?

I was just about to give up finding any information about this too but I just found something which totally validates your experience.

Here is a research abstract about male sexuality and MS and here is what they say (had to put my reading glasses on the read the little bitty print!): 

"Male MS patients often complain of inability to obtain or maintain an erection during sexual intercourse,although they frequently have morning erections or spontaneous, short lasting rigid erections during the day."

The bold print is mine...I just wanted you to see that part.  So in fact, this seems to be a thing with MS. 

Would you say that it is entirely neurological in origin when this happens?  You aren't particularly thinking sexy thoughts?  Are you taking any pills like Viagra?  Just trying to rule out other causes.  It probably is just some neurological quirk.

I have heard too that MS can cause some people to become sexually compulsive but this is a whole other type of issue. 

MSN Health reports that :  "Certain diseases or conditions may cause damage to parts of the brain that affect sexual behaviors. Multiple sclerosis, epilepsy and dementia all have been associated with compulsive sexual behavior. In addition, treatment of Parkinson's disease with dopamine agonist medications may induce compulsive sexual behavior."

Anyways...sounds like a neurological quirk to me.  I am not sure what there is you can do about it.  Think about baseball? 

Thank you for coming to this site and contributing to this discussion!

Thanks for the help.

I'm taking propranolol (not sure about the spelling) for shaking hands and arms. From what I've read this drug can cause problems getting an erection.

I haven't mentioned this to the doctors yet but I guess I will. It is very embarrassing to talk about. If there's something I thought they could do about it (or thought they could tie it to a new lesion or something) I wouldn't hesitate to bring it up but I'm afraid it's just one of those weird things that no one can do anything about that (may) be related to neurological problems.

I have my share of sexual thoughts for sure, but this is different. This has happened when I was talking with my psychologist (male) once, when watching the news on TV, you name it, there's no obvious pattern to it. I have taken CIalis a few times to see if it would help with the ejaculation problem (it doesn't), but I haven't taken it in over six months.

What you found about "spontaneous ... erections" is helpful. At least it kind of ties in with the numerous other neurological things going on. The other comment about compulsive sexual behavior bothers me though because, in the past, I have had problems binging on pornography. It takes a conscious effort at times to stay away from that stuff. I don't want to read too much into that though since a lot of guys have problems with an attraction to pornography.