Thursday, October 27, 2011
All animals are sad after sex
-Latin Proverb
Feelings of relaxation, the release of tension, and a sensation of bliss are the feelings some people experience after sex. But for others the afterglow of sex is not only absent but replaced with feelings of depression. How common is depressio...
Merely Me,
It may seem funny, but it's not really--a lot of us women feel at least let down, if not depressed, after sex because of not being able to achieve orgasm during sex. It took an inexperienced young man, my second husband, a couple of months to figure out how to help that to happen. I cried at the time, but due to finally having that experience I had so longed for. I was nearly 30 at the time. I can't remember ever feeling depressed after achieving orgasm during sex.
Due to having been sexually abused during all my adolescence by my father--fondling, "French" kissing, digital penetration, and some frottage--his rubbing himself against me as I walked, I was highly sexualized; when I once lost my technical virginity at age 21, I did go through a period of promiscuity. There were times when I had negative effects from the chronic abuse history. I was easy to take advantage of--a college professor's husband fondled my breasts when I spent the night at their house, and one guy on a Greyhound bus grabbed my breast as he went by me. One bus driver rubbed my leg; I was afraid to move away because he'd told me he hadn't slept during his break in driving, and I was scared he'd fall asleep. There were times during each of my two marriages when I felt "grabbed" when I wasn't receptive--flipping me back into the bad feelings I'd had when being abused.
patsy
Hi Patsy
You make a very good point that some women may feel depressed after sex because they never reach orgasm. I think there are many women as well who may experience pain during sexual intercourse and have negative associations with sexual intimacy.
I am so sorry about your sexual abuse when you were a child. This is probably one of the most difficult things one can deal with and even years...decades after the events have occured.
Thank you for sharing your story here. I am hoping that this will give our other members the courage to also share their thoughts and experiences.
Thanks again for your comment.
MM, there is a rather lengthy article about pain during intercourse at http://www.emedicinehealth.com/pain_during_intercourse/page5_em.htm Related conditions are listed to the left side.
Any cause for pain during sex can cause a secondary painful condition called vaginismus, in which the vagina reacts with painful muscle spasms to insertion of the penis. Recommendations given are to see a doctor (a female one, if that is more comfortable) any time there is pain and to not have sex until the cause of the pain is found and resolved.
It is a primary function of a gynecologist to help women with problems regarding sex. I'd suggest finding a gyn who is comfortable to talk with and cares about helping.
Thanks, MM!
patsy