It's such a hard place you are in. The only thing I can ask is, would you wish you had been told before you acquired herpes?

Medically, I think someone should be told, would want to know, and make their own decision.The CDC advises, "Sex partners of infected persons should be advised that they may become infected and they should use condoms to reduce the risk."

Ethically, it's our decision. Legally, I'm not sure there is precedent.

I wish I could tell you the way to handle this, in which it would come out as you want, but I cannot. I'd want to know. Just the fact you're worrying about it is a big plus in my book, but I can't say how he would react.

No, I don't think you need to. I also have genital hsv-1 and my doctor advised me that since 80% of adults have the virus already and cannot catch it, you don't need to tell. Hsv-1 normally causes cold sores, and does not have a stigma attached when it does because it is so common. People treat it differently when it is a genital infection, despite the fact it is FAR less infectious (only a fifth as much) as when it infects the mouth! If you have genital hsv-1, not only are you only infectious for less than 3% of the time, but three quarters of people infected with it will NEVER be infectious without symptoms. This, in contrast to oral hsv-1, which is infectious about 18% of the time and which partners don't tell you about because it is 'just a cold sore'.

I decided many years ago I would just go with telling partners I got occasional cold sores but not giving them any more details.