I can only orgasm when I'm thinking violent thoughts (thoughts of rape, being beaten, humiliated, killed, etc) but I feel bad about myself afterwards. I am scared. I would do anything to be normal and I don't end up alone. What do I do?
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Q: I can't get myself to orgasm without thinking horrible thoughts I want to be normal, please help me.
Answers (3)
10/21/08 2:18am
Hi Blackorchid,
The brain plays a huge role in a woman's ability to orgasm, therefore, fantasy seems to be an important part of this process. While disturbing to a lot of women, fantasies about being raped, beaten, etc. are not necessarily abnormal. The fantasy is really about not being "in control" which actually "frees" you up to explore your sexuality.
Keep in mind that fantasies are not real, that while it may be exciting for some to imagine being raped, no one actually wants to be raped in the real world!
Women tend to gravitate toward the same fantasies that have worked for them in the past, which may explain why you keep returning to these particular fantasies. It may take some practice and patience to develop some new fantasies that are powerful enough to leard to orgasm, but it doesn't mean it can't be done! It also doesn't mean that you won't return to these fantasies from time to time either.
I hope that helps.
Regards,
Jennifer L. Fee, Psy.D.
10/25/08 7:37am
i would recommend romantic novels,,and sappy movies.. stop watching them violent films at the movies.
11/16/08 12:26am
gurl ur nomal dont even worry about it jus do ur thang..that may be a new kinda a foreplay for a guy so tell him you wanna be kinda rough when you have sex...i say whatever gets u off jus go for it...
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By blackorchid— Last Modified: 05/10/11, First Published: 10/20/08
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