I just wanted to post a reply to those who are going through the same thing. My husband and I had a very uncomfortable talk and it was the best thing that we ever did. He could see that I was really very unhappy rather than just putting up with it. Last night we decided that we would make "sex" more of a routine thing, that way there was less pressure to perform. Also rather than worrying what I might like he tried to do what he wanted and that way we both ended up of course with what we both wanted. It didn't work completely but I am sooooo happy! The intimacy returned and the fact that he is even trying means the world to me. It was never about missing sex, it was about missing that intimacy with someone that I love so much. So if the man that first wrote the post above reads this PLEASE TRY. Just touch your wife, start slowly and don't try to fix everything over one night. If my husband can do it then so can you.....I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you both. After being in a sexless marriage for years we are on the way to being in a "normal" relationship.