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"Get out" is probably the best advice in this thread. It's probably not as simple as being only about the dichotomy of the virgin/whore. Factoring into the equation are small things; the lustful participation in sexuality that is enjoyed early in a relationship usually becomes a one-way street, later. The vagina-as-currency tends to dull the gloss of sexual desire. Feigned interest and dutiful submission don't help, either. Being desired isn't a one-gender need; men need to be desired, too. Hoping for sexual attention and remaining stoic in its absence probably won't get the job done, either.   Doesn't the issue, at least in part, degenerate into our assigned gender roles?  The male is ordained to be the aggressor and the female the object of his (our) desire.  We follow the script during courtship but (some of us, at least) run out of steam when the prize is won.  It's not about conquest, it's about something a little more primal: planting our seed.   Without question, I suffer from the complex (oh yeah, the women in my life have suffered it, as well).  Is it possible, however, that each of us is trying to use logic and reason to explain a phenomenon that defies logic and reason?  Are we more primal than we're willing to admit?  Are we attempting to take our primal nature and make it fit into societal institutions?  Maybe we've taken a psychological label and have mistakenly applied it to an organic condition. Remember those birds that mate for life?  What they DIDN'T tell you is that they only remain TOGETHER for life; they still screw around.