I have been dating a guy for 4 years..and we have had many ups and downs. Throughout the relationship I felt kind of used. I paid for most things..and at first I didn't mind..unit we started getting older(Im 21 now). Now he seems more like a burden. We've been through cheating. He always got caught..me...I only cheated at the end when we didn't really have a title. We see each other almost everyday. Some days i love him to death...other days I don't, and wish I had someone else. Ive met other people..but they never really get past my wall....lately my ex or..whatever his title is..have been OK. been holding hands..and just happy..talking more. The financial stuff still bothers me though. Anyways, I met a new guy I like a lot. I see him only on the weekends as he lives far away. I can't decide between the,..and I am so confused...The history of me and ,my ex is rocky..filled with passion..of both hate and love..and the new guy..just semms neutral..like we could just be OK and happy. I don't know..I love my ex..I think Im just scared to leave..and he found out about the new guy and is really upset. I feel like Im being mean when I say things like he doesn't bring enough to the table..I just don't know what to do...Help me pelase :(
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Q: Should I leave the Ex for good...or Stay and work it out?
Well only you can answer this.
I am wondering though...was the cheating and even the new boyfriend a way to get back at your ex or to make him pay attention to you?
There is a difference between the drama and passion of being in a rocky relationship and...being with someone who is healthy for us...someone you can do the day to day things with.
Maybe you need some time away from men entirely just to clear your head and think about what you do want. It seems like you are in some cycle of being with your ex and then not being with him. It doesn't seem a good way to live in the long term. Is it the people you are with which you want...or is it the drama and excitement of the rollercoaster ride? Are you in love with any one of these two men or are you just in love with love?
Some things to think about...
Thank you for your question.
I don't know if this is an answer or just some good old fashion advice, if he's an ex and your still friends thats great LET IT STAY THAT WAY! As for the guy, don't always judge a book by its cover! My husband has this GREAT looking friend and always seemed so nice and he would be considered today as eye candy but things aren't always what they seem- my husband was the quite,lay back kind-no self confidence,let me tell you he has the best (lets say) bedside manner and I have never had a better lover in my life(49 yrs old)-yes I can say this with actually due to 12 in the Army, my stepfather sexually abusing me at 15 and at 18 I went wild God trully was watching over me not to have caught any STDs. Everyone that new my husband and myself said it wouldn't last 6 months and hon today it is 19years and weare happier than the day we married.
I don't know if this helps but I'll pray for you and I'm sure it will be ok.
ladygraycloud/Suzanne
I wonder if you've found the right guy yet. When you do, you'll want only him, and your sex life will explode, because you'll be intimate, as well as horny. You've done both guys, and not exclusively. That sounds like hormones, not love, and leads to shallow sex. Not that sex now is not fun, but it leaves you a bit hollow I suspect, rather than "wow". I know this is difficult, but you could consider dating a guy, probably a new guy - without sex - and seeing your compatability first. Is he interesting when you don't have his body? Do you love him for him? Are you committed to all of him, even the parts that aren't perfect? When sex starts in a dating relationship, the "dating" ends. That means the couple's learning curve on each other cools off before they really know each other. Then the sex cools off, because the intimacy outside the bedroom hasn't developed. Then its break up to make up, and a roller coaster cycle. You can have better! And, so can your Ex. Good luck.
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