I love my girlfriend dearly but I honestly believe she has no interest in sex and its starting to make me question if I want to stay with her.
We have only been together for a year and in the first three months before we moved in together things where very different. She would often initiate things and we would have sex 3-4 times a week (or more). However as soon as we got a house together everything changed. To begin with she said it was because she was tired from moving and I could understand that, we had a lot going on, we where both stressed and exhausted what with moving and 2 kids (she has a 4 and 12 year old).
However once things settled down and we had finished upacking and doing them things you do to make a place your own the sex didn't really get any better again. We still had sex a couple of times a week, occasionally more but it was almost always me that initiated it and she didn't really do much other then lay there. The one time I did ask her to do something to me (wasn't anything "odd either, just asked her to kiss my chest) she said she was comfortable where she was!
Not long after that I started getting more and more excuses for not having sex, mostly that she was tired. However most nights we end up staying awake until between 1-3am watching junk on tv anyway. When I mentioned this and say that we could go to bed earlier she says its nice to spend time cuddled up on the sofa and that obviously I just dont enjoy it and that it is always about sex with me. I do enjoy just spending time with her but I would also enjoy a bit of passion in our relationship too and not feel like I'm always trying to push her into having sex.
Her latest excuse is that she has put on weight and doesn't feel comfortable which again I could understand. However this is just one of the many excuses I have heard over the last 9 months and she only started saying this when I started arguing that we should go to bed earlier if she is tired.
I have tried everything to try and get some passion back into our relationship (taking her away to a posh hotel for the weekend with romantic river cruise and dinners etc, decorating the bedroom with candles, etc).
It just feels like I'm the only one that cares, the times when we do have sex it is me that does everything (she barely touches me recently) and I just don't know what more to do. In general the rest of our relationship is fine and like I said I really, really do love her but I dont think I can spend the rest of my life in a relationship like this.
I just really don't know what to do anymore. I just feel frustrated and her complete change around and constant excuses are making me paranoid (like maybe she is having an affair, or maybe she is more interested in me because I had money and she got to move into a nice house and all other crazy kinds of shit going through my head).
Its not so much the lack of sex itself that I'm having an issue with, though I do admittedly have a high sex drive and do miss sex with a partner that is going to show me some passion back. The main thing I have an issue with is her complete change in attitude towards it and the fact that it really doesn't seem like she cares.
What should I do?
