Hi Lola,

I think it's highly unlikely that it is you. He appears to be trying and failing, so this leads us to a whole string of possibilities as to why. Dealing with the more obvious of them first, I guess it would be useful to know if he's been drinking alcohol or smoking before attempting sex? What's his age and weight? Is he on any medication or taking any drugs? These are all issues known to affect the ability to achieve and sustain an erection.

It's possible that having experienced a problem once he now has performance anxiety? Are you in a relaxed atmosphere when you attempt sex or is it rushed? Can he still achieve an erection if he isn't with you? If he can, this might suggest the problem is more psychological than physical. If he can't he needs to be checked out by a medical doctor sooner rather than later.

The list of questions could go on and on but a helpful first step would be some honest and open conversation.