There is no going back as she does not want to be responsible for me to catch it. I have been blood tested and results negative. I am exiled to celibacy. She told me of this condition and offered the fact that if I wanted sex I could divorce her all in the same shocking conversation. For a long time, before her announcement, we did not have any sex and I kept asking her about that fact and she was evasive. I thought that she lost interest in me or maybe had a man friend that she was reluctant to reveal. She claims that she has been faithful for the 25 years we have been together. It appears to me that that would be a long incubation period for a Herpes condition to arise. Her herpes sore comes and goes often, sometimes a week or two apart, and so what can I do? I am not pleased with the situation and would like a sex partner. I am confident we will never again have sex. Additionally, my spouse has been dismissal about any other type of sex contact. What a predicament! Any thoughts?
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Q: Spouse has been diagnosed with Herpes and she does not want to give it to spouse so sex has ceased.
Hello
This is a tough situation indeed. I am so sorry this has happened. I am not sure what to tell you as this is a very personal decision of what you should do.
May I ask does she have HSV1 or HSV2? They are slightly different. One way someone can contract herpes is for someone who has oral herpes to give oral sex to their partner. Here is more information.
Please do ask your question over on our Herpes site as well because you might get some better detailed answers there from people who have more experience with this topic.
There are precautions you can take of course but no guarantees that you would not catch this from your wife.
I guess the question becomes...do you two still love each other? Figure that out first and then go from there. I like to think there is always hope but I can't tell you how to remedy this situation in any easy manner.
Good luck to you. I hope things work out somehow.
There is no reason to divorce each other, you guys can still have sex as long as she takes her medication and you were a condom you two will be fine. I'm sure the doctor has told you that you can't have sex only when she has an outbreak. but other than that you can still have sex as long as you guys protect yourselves. The only reason there would be reason to worry is if you caught it from someone else.
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