I'm 22 and I've been in a relationship for three years now and I would have to say we're pretty healthy sexually, we're for the most part very open with each other and we have sex often and it's enjoyable, though of course it'll probably never be as amazing as it was in the beginning.  There's something so incredible about exploring someone new for the first time.  I'm just barely starting to understand and recognize that I don't have to be ashamed of what I like and desire and I'm learning to accept things about myself that for a long time I tried to push away and pretend didn't exist.  The only problem is, in accepting my desires as they are I'm having to admit to myself that though I absolutely love and adore my boyfriend, he just doesn't turn me on that much anymore.  I've tried to suggest doing new things and sometimes he says yes but though they can be fun they still don't solve my problem.

I find myself attracted to other men and the problem is that once I really start lusting after someone I find it hard to stop.  I'll find myself having intense fantasies about other people and I'll get really aroused and try to have sex with my boyfriend, and... the magic dies.  Now some might say ditch the boyfriend, but I know he's not the problem.  In the past two relationships I was in I was younger and much less experienced and cheated on my boyfriends at the time because of this, and that was sexually satisfying but didn't work out so well for the relationship.  So in entering this one, I promised myself I would not cheat on him.  I am proud to say I have been successful, but the more time that passes I feel like my sexual desires and needs are being suppressed and it's becoming painful.  It's like, because I'm working so hard at avoiding the people I'm attracted to and holding back so nothing happens, the more I want them and the more frustrated I feel.  It's becoming more and more difficult because I'm really attractive and I'm constantly having to fend guys off but the problem is, I want so badly to give in.

The best solution I've found is to fantasize about the other person while I'm with my boyfriend (we end up having amazing sex) but that just plain sucks!! I don't want to be fantasizing about someone else.  I want to be in love emotionally AND sexually with my boyfriend.  I've tried being open with him about this but he's not as open as I am and his feelings tend to get hurt (he gets jealous really easy) and I don't want to make him feel horrible because it's not his problem, so I've stopped telling him I'm attracted to other men.  Honestly, I just don't know what to do.  I want to deal with the issue and I don't want to hurt anyone.  I know that if my boyfriend and I were to break up, I would choose not to be in a relationship for a long time, because I'm learning that sexually my needs can't seem to be satisfied by one person.  But what happens down the road when I get in a relationship again, and this happens - again?  Ultimately, a solo relationship is what I want.  I want to be with one person and love that person for the rest of my life.  But my sex drive just doesn't seem to agree.

I know nothing is wrong with me but I just don't know what to do.  Can anyone more experienced please shed some light into my situation before I find myself cheating on my boyfriend because seriously I'm getting to the point where I feel like I can't hold back anymore, it's just too hard.  Thanks.