My husband wants me to perform anal sex for him, using a dildo or an anal plug, on him. I don't want to do this. He feels rejected when I say no, and says he can't trust me. I love him and love having sex with him, but I feel really uncomfortable with this. It just seems weird. How do I handle this delicately?
- Find
- Resources
Q: My husband wants me to perform anal sex on him...
Answers (2)
10/14/09 6:58pm
I'm just a member here, like you, and I am not good at delicate speaking, but good at giving opinions, so...
This is kind of a question for a Dear Abby type, rather than sexual health, in the strictest sense but I think both people have to be comfortable in what they do, or have done to them.
I believe that most anything which pleases both partners is just fine between them but, being made to do something you don't want, breeds resistance, then resentment, sometimes hatred, and so does trying to make someone feel guilty because they don't wish to do something. Am I making any sense?
What I am not giving you, is the magic words to make this go away, that is what you need and I know the insistence will probably not stop. I hope this works out for you.
10/15/09 5:41pm
Pretty much anything goes with sex IF both of you want it. If one of you does not want it, leave it alone.
I don't know your relationship. But, it disturbs me that he says he can't trust you when you say no. He's messing with you, and intentionally trying to guilt trip you. This is not an issue of his trust, but his desires. It also disturbs me that he keeps pressuring you when he knows you don't like it.
Is your sexual relationship all about him? If so, its not on a good footing, and not giving either of you the fulfillment you could and should have. I suggest, if he's willing, that you seek marital counseling. Not for the particular sex act at issue, but for your relationship as a whole. Your question is a symptom of a problem that has been there all along. This does not mean your marriage is bad; only that it could get better with a refocusing of self on the other partner. Good luck.
Important:
We hope you find this general health information helpful. Please note however, that this Q&A is meant to support not replace the professional medical advice you receive from your doctor. No information in the Answers above is intended to diagnose or treat any condition. The views expressed in the Answers above belong to the individuals who posted them and do not necessarily reflect the views of The HealthCentral Network. The HealthCentral Network does not review or edit content posted by our community members, but reserves the right to remove any material it deems inappropriate.
Featuring Content From:
By using this service, you accept our Terms of Use. Please read them. The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. You should promptly seek professional medical care if you have any concern about your health, and you should always consult your physician before starting a fitness regimen. Copyright © 2012 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
