I could really use some advice on my situation. My girlfriend and I have been going out a year, we are both in college and doing really well together. Recently, she decided she was ready to have sex (she was a virgin). We went out to dinner, had a great day, then spent the night together. We used lubrication, condom and not (shes on birth control), foreplay, but she had a lot of pain. So much so that we didn't really have sex. She started to think I'm too large for her or she's too tight. I can definitely fit, and I didn't distinctly feel her hymen when we had sex (though there was blood).
Should I be worried over this? Is she just a little tight and it's going to take some time before she starts to enjoy the sex? Of the many times we tried that night, it just hurt her too much and before long she said she was too sore. I really love her and could use any help or reassurance on this topic.
Thank you!
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Q: Trouble Having Sex With Girlfriend
Hello
Well that first time can hurt for a woman. But it usually does get better over time. As far as being too big, it might feel that way for that first time. But when you consider that babies can fit through that same space, the vagina is very adaptable.
It is really commendable that you are concerned and want to make things pleasurable for your girlfriend. I also applaud that you guys are using contraception.
I think you should just take things slow and ask what feels good and what does not. You are going to have to have some communication about all this. Lubrication may help. Lots of foreplay and exploration with your fingers may also help. Allowing her to be on top might make her feel more in control and to do what feels comfortable.
Good luck to you both!
So that was the first and only time you have tried sexual intercourse right? Are you concerned that there is something medically wrong? I would try again before you worry too much but perhaps she could ask her gynecologist why she experienced so much pain.
Just wondering too...what advice were you seeking? Perhaps if you tell me more I could try again to help.
Sorry if I seemed rude before, I'm just a little worried over it all.
It was the first time she had sex (I was not a virgin), and my main question at this point is if its natural for her to be so tight that it hurts her for a while. She's a bit smaller than I am and I think it could be that it just will take some time for her to get used to it, and thats really what I'm hoping for.
My girlfriend and I had a similar problem. Our solution was the purchase of about a dozen, various-sized dildos.
We started with the smallest among them and slowly worked our way to the largest of them. In time, her vagina was able to accomodate any of the dildos but had become too large to generate any friction for me.
We knew a couple whose male was very well endowed. We began girlfriend-swapping and that seemed to cure the problem. My ex-girlfriend married the guy and I haven't seen her in a couple of years.
Hope that helps.
Ask her if anal sex would be okay.
There's no hymen to worry about and with enough lubricant and patience, entry will be relatively easy. If she's resistant to the idea of anal, find a girl who has a little experience and dump the virgin.
Hope this helps.
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I understand your advice perfectly, but I'm sorry I don't think it quite answers my question. We used the most lubrication and foreplay you can think of, we tried having her on top, and I was completely concerned for what felt comfortable to her the whole time. It still hurt her and took a very long time for me to move inside her.