my husband has a low sex drive (once a month normally) for me, yet he masturbates a few times a week. why does he have such a low drive for me? he says he doesn't feel like performing. if he doesn't say that he says he can't because of all the stress he is having run thru his mind and won't be able to get it up because of that. he  has had a number of affairs in the past but says he would never want to lose me i am the best lover he has ever had. he hasn't had any more affairs for about 4 yrs yet we still have not had any increase in our love life either.when we do have sex i have had to ask him to be able to have the go ahead  about 10 to12 times (he has me ask rather than just start to cuddle or fondle). i always have to be the iniater, he will not iniate ever in 19 yrs he never has. i have tried to mix up the way i approach him and have tried videos, teddies, messages,lighting, even going to the boonies and going for it in the car or in the mountains, hotel rooms, none of these get any better reponse! he will not talk about sex with me. he has even went to see a uroligist, but would not tell them about his low sex drive; so they tested  his prostate and looked at his penis and said he's fine. he does have a very low sperm count with abnormalities and low sperm ejaculation amounts for fluid. is there anything that can be done ?