Relationships

How to Maintain Your Identity in a Relationship

Eileen Bailey Jul 18th, 2014 (updated Jun 11th, 2015)
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Make a list of your hobbies and interests
Make a list of your hobbies and interests

Plan some time each week to devote to your interests. While there might be times you want to share your interests with your significant other, make sure you have time to pursue your interests by yourself as well.

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Keep up your relationships with your friends
Keep up your relationships with your friends

If you see your friends on a regular basis, continue to do so. Set aside one night a week that is “friend night.” Make plans to meet for dinner or drinks, see a movie or meet at the gym for yoga class. Whatever it is you did with your friends before the relationship began, continue throughout your relationship. 

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Don't give up your own hobbies for your partner's hobbies
Don't give up your own hobbies for your partner's hobbies

Balance your relationship by spending some time doing mutual activities and some time focused on your own. Don’t feel you need to participate in activities that you have no desire to do, just because your partner enjoys them.

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Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion
Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion

You are bound to have differences of opinion or view situations differently. Don’t ignore your feelings and defer to your partner’s in order to please him or her. In a healthy relationship, both people’s opinions are important and are taken into consideration. 

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Spend time together
Spend time together

It seems contradictory to include spending time together in a post about maintaining your own identity, but building a strong relationship is important to maintaining your identity. Spending quality time together, talking and sharing your thoughts, ideas and feelings helps you learn about your partner.

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Make your own decisions about day-to-day activities and purchases
Make your own decisions about day-to-day activities and purchases

As the relationship progresses and you intertwine finances, there will be times you need to discuss large purchases, however, because both of you are adults, you shouldn’t have to ask permission to make day to day purchases or decisions.