Another helpful tactic is to remake connections with your close friends and family. Or try filling up your calendar with things to do, like taking up a new sport, going on vacation, or starting that Great American Novel you’ve been meaning to write.

Ultimately, Maloney recommends positive affirmations. See if you can look in a mirror and say, “I love and accept myself exactly as I am.” If you can’t, you know you have some work to do. It might mean talking to a professional or a school counselor, reading a self-help book on improving self-esteem, she says.

But the important thing is figuring out how you go about loving and accepting yourself as you are. “And finally try not to blame yourself or the other person,” Maloney adds. Just tell yourself that the relationship didn’t work out. 

And then go out and dump that jerk.