Cyber-relationships can and often do develop into something else. Many people explore a cybersexual relationship because something is missing in their own relationship, says Adamse. There are also ways to use the Net to enhance your sex life with your real life partner, such as by sending steamy instant messages to each other throughout the day.
"Whatever you do, don't jump in blindly. You're not just interacting with your computer-those are real people with real feelings out there," says Adamse.
Protect Yourself
If you do decide to get frisky online, here's what you need to know to stay safe:
- Pay close attention to the content of the messages you're receiving. You can usually determine your correspondent's age by his or her writing and language. Most importantly, make sure your correspondent is an adult.
- Stay on the same wavelength as your fellow cyberflirt. If you're being playful and casual, make sure the other person is, too. If you're just looking for an Internet quickie, you probably shouldn't get involved with someone who's looking for true love.
- The Golden Rule applies online, just as it does in real life: treat others with respect. Don't be abusive, and watch your language.
- Even though the Net offers anonymity, it pays to be cautious. Don't give out your personal information too quickly. Never give out a home phone number right away.
The same anonymity and freedom to be creative that makes cybersex so appealing can also foster predatory and unsafe practices online. While sex in cyberspace can't spread disease or lead to unwanted pregnancy, arranging for real sex through the web can be risky business. A recent syphilis outbreak in San Francisco, for example, was traced back to a singe Internet chat room in which people set up real life sexual encounters. The lesson: safe sex is as important in cyberspace as it is in the real world.
