Some of the people who might benefit from the practice of intellectual foreplay include the following:
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Internet Daters: "On the Net, it's all intellectual foreplay," says Hogan. The questions are a good way to get to know your online admirer and decide if the two of you have a chance of hitting it off in real life.
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Long Distance Relationships: When the phone is your primary means of staying in touch, it's easy to fall into a routine of "I had a microwave burrito again for dinner. It's raining here." Having a few provocative questions at the ready can invigorate a dull conversation.
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Shy People: For someone who never knows what to talk about on dates, Intellectual Foreplay can be a conversational lifeline. Just leafing through the questions can provide ideas for dozens of conversation starters.
- Platonic Partnerships: While it was created for romantic partners, Intellectual Foreplay can be a great tool for choosing roommates and business partners, too.
You can be as coy or as up-front as you like when practicing intellectual foreplay. You can adopt some of the practices without announcing that you're on a mission to reveal yourself to your partner while also getting to know him or her better. Other partners make the process into an ongoing relationship project. Hogan has known people who photocopy a couple of pages and stick them in their purse or pocket to bring along on dates, just in case they get tongue-tied.
No matter how you practice, make sure you start with tamer subjects, such as "pets," "religion" and "family." It may be tempting to move right into the juicy questions in the sex chapter, but hold off. Starting with sex questions ("On a scale of one to ten, rate your sex drive" and "Do you think both people should initiate sex?") can heat things up considerably, warns Hogan. Before you know it, may find yourself engaged in physical foreplay.
