Of course, if you're planning on pool sex you should also keep in mind (1) will you still be a hunk of burnin' love when your fingers and toes are all wrinkled, and (2) how many kids peed in the pool that afternoon?
Myth #4: "I won't get pregnant if I drink ice water."
Sure, uh huh, and people went to The Grateful Dead shows solely for the music.
Yes, this frigid theory is an absurd stretch of logic, but not much more so than the rest of these myths; chances are that if you've never kinda/sorta believed this then someone you know has, and probably took it to heart (after all, there are no pregnant snowmen).
We've already mentioned above what tough li'l troops sperm are, and it's not going to matter to the traveling baby batter if you chill your system before, during, or after coitus; you're just as likely to conceive as before the icy intake, unless the guy is turned off by the natty cardigan you have on to preserve your dwindling core temperature. Face it, oh would-be frigid one, if you want to kill off things inside your body you should probably stick to drinking Tab. The only way this most misbegotten of myths works is if you drink freon, and then you will be impregnable -- because you will be dead.
Myth # 5: “The rhythm method works.”
A favorite for untold generations due to religious conviction and/or lack of superior birth control methods (especially when the “early withdrawal” technique mentioned above just doesn’t seem very dignified), the rhythm method’s dismal effective rate (80%) is further exacerbated by modern research. Now politely dubbed “natural family planning,” the rhythm method prescribes checking physical criteria such as body temperature to determine whether or not a woman is ovulating, so that the couple will abstain from sex for that duration.
This is tantamount to assuming ovulation is calibrated by an egg timer that “dings” when it’s booty time. Since when have people become exact creatures of mechanical precision? How can anyone assume that a given body temperature indicates ovulation? A woman may just be running warm or in the clutches of shoe sale lust. Also, there's no biological guarantee that a woman will be most fertile for a set span of days, nor that only one egg per cycle will be released, nor that she'll let you paw her once she's out of the "danger zone." You'd better stick to less psychic prophylactics, Nostradamus.
That's all for this installment. Next up we'll be dealing with orgasm intensifiers and aphrodisiacs, among other enticing myths.
