"It is helpful to look at sexuality as fluid and on a continuum, meaning any individual can change their sexual feelings and attractions over the course of their lifetime," says Lahana. "This is often a difficult concept for people who felt they were gay or lesbian since birth to understand," she adds.

For many gay and straight people, bisexuality feels like a threat to their own identity. "Many people have had bisexual experiences over their lifetime. Having this history can feel threatening to their sexual identity. So one way of diminishing that internal threat is to disregard, reject or deny the existence of bisexuality," she says.

That's why it is so crucial to understand that everyone's sexuality is unique. It is important to accept yourself and accept your attraction-emotionally, spiritually, sexually and romantically-to both men and women, says Lahana. She adds, "These feelings can vary over time and that is normal."

Misconceptions About Bisexuality
There is a common belief that bisexual individuals are equally attracted to both genders. According to Lahana, this, too, is a misconception. "Just because you are bisexual, you do not need to be involved with a man and a woman at the same time to be fulfilled," she explains.

The debates and confusion about bisexuality are partly due to the various meanings the term has encompassed, as well as to the political aspects of sexuality and widespread homophobia. "It's not easy to be bisexual," says Lahana, "but there are joys and gifts one can find in claiming the bisexual identity."

Getting the Support You Need
The following are Lahana's tips for getting support if you are bisexual.

• Read books about bisexuality (there is a bibliography under "Bi Resources" on Lahana's website).
• Reach out to friends and communities that are supportive of bisexuality.
• If there are no support or social groups in your area, seek out Internet resources and communities for bisexuals.
• Get involved in local groups, including LGBT groups that are accepting of bisexuality.
• If you feel that you need professional help, find a therapist who is knowledgeable about bisexuality and the coming out process.