I just have one question....I can aggree with you about everything, but I am concerned because my son, who just turned 8 mths. is now all over his crib...so I am terrified to use a blanket because he has had it over his face and am afraid he will smother himself..any suggesstions?   I am now doubling up his PJ's and using a space heater (don't like the heater idea).  I was thinking maybe a croucqued blanket?  At least it has holes so he can breathe if he does put it over his face?

Hi my son is 8 months and also started doing this,he was waking upto 5 times a night sometimes in awkward positions he had got himself into (legs stuck through crib).A friend recommended i put him in a sleeping bag/grow bag to see if it secures him more,i did and havent looked back,it is suitable if they end up sleeping on their side,back or front(my son does all 3!) i have now got 3 different thickness types for depending on if its cold or warmer they keep them nice and snug and you dont have to worry about their little faces,hope this helps good luck. kat

Try and get a Sleep Sack they make them for babies and toddlers just check out the internet for them. I had the same problem with my son pulling the blankets over his face and the sleep sack out my mind at ease. Just check out the different brand and find the right one for your needs I use the Halo brand. And using a humidifier in the winter helps out a ton with keeping those little noses from getting to dry.

Baby sleeping bag - they're great and come in different togs so thicker one for winter: http://www.mothercare.com/Jungle-Family-Snoozie-sleeping-bag/dp/B002HZ1MZI/sr=1-4/qid=1270024354/ref=sr_1_4/280-0378822-4082261?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=42764041&mcb=core 

I had the same problem with my wife and our son, she was afraid he would smother himself with blankets. our son is in his own cot, when we make up his cot the blankets are folded in half, with the bottom of the blanket tucket all the way under the mattress,the top half comes up on the top of the mattress. we lay him in his cot with his feet as close as possible to the bottom of his cot, then whats left of the blankets are folded on to him up to his armpit level, tucking the sides in as well.

no matter how he moves and wiggles in the night he will never be able to cover his face as most of the blanket is under the mattress which he is laying on. ( and believe me he moves about alot, sometimes his head and feet end up facing the sides of the cot, but when he moves it is always up away from his blankets). and rest assured your 8 month old is now developed enought to unconciously move his face away from anything that makes it hard to breath, the other night our son turned over and fell asleep with his face flat on the mattress, I stood and watched him and after about 15 seconds he turned his head sideways and carried on sleeping happily

hi, what medication was your little one on for reflux? how did you come to discover that he had a milk protein allergy? Im sure my lo has both but gp not helpful x

My son was on zantac and prevacid.  He had a sensitivity or intollerance to the milk protein, not an allergy (no blood in the stool).  I knew this because of the excessive gassiness, projectile vomitting, and eventually the pain during feeding caused by acid reflux (which happens when the milk proteins cannot digest properly and the stomach gets bloated and then milk goes up the esophogus because there is no more room in the bloated belly).  I switched my son to Alimentum and saw improvements.  It takes up to 2 months to see full improvements because the milk proteins stay in their systems for a long time. Alimentum is a hypoallergenic formula where the milk proteins are already broken down so their tummies don't have to struggle to do the work. 

By the way, CIO DID NOT work for us.  Once he felt some discomfort, he was crying again and I could not let him cry if I wasn't sure if he felt pain or not.  Never again would I do it and I would never recommend it.  My son is now 2 and I have a baby  5 months old.  They grow up so fast...I never thought I would say as there were some days I thought I would not survive the sleep deprivation.  Now my advice would be---do WHATEVER it takes to make your baby happy. Sleeping with your baby is not a bad thing, it is wonderful.  Not all babies need/like to cosleep.  Or they may go through stages when they need you more/less.  Go with the flow! You will be rewarded in the end with a happy, sensitive child.  BABY'S SLEEP IS MORE ABOUT TEMPERMENT THAN PARENTING SKILLS. My second is much easier, and she also has milk sensitivity.  She is just a more easy going baby that sleeps better.  Also, I switched her milk much sooner.  Hope this helps!

Well put!  Eventually you do learn to go with the flow, and what sacrifices we pay now will only benefit our children in the future.  At first you try to look for the answers until you finally learn that there is no answer.  You do what you have to no matter how painful or tiring it is.  It is about our little angels, our futures, our everythings.  I personally could not stomach the thought of leaving my daughter in a dark room alone and helpless to "cry it out."  It feels completely unnatural to me, and i would rather her feel that i am there for her when things become firghtening.  We are their heroes!

I agree with you on the fact that I would rather have my son know I'm right next to him.Yes,he too wakes up every couple of hrs at night so he's up 6 or 8 or even more times in a night.I make him sleep with me in bed and I assure you he doesn't wake up because of me or my husband as we are very still sleepers.I don't think there is much we can do about it.I don't agree with the cry it out method so that's out of the window.No offense,but I think it's for lazy parents.I'm just relieved that there are others like me out there who are going through the same problem.

Thanks thats really helpfull. How did you find out that your son had a milk protein sensitivity?

I have switched my lo on to lactose free cows milk as he is now one, does'nt seem to have made much difference, thought it would of been easier for him to digest. His reflux is still bad though, he cries every time he brings up wind.

Do you feel that zantac did much? I have some but am a bit reluctant to give it. However after last night I am willing to try anything!!

Hi, My baby screamed none stop for the first 2months and then he had constant diarrea. The doc said he had colic because of hes age. However we took him to hospital and they sent us home with an infant formula called called 'pepti junior' made by cow and gate. This was a lactose free formula but still had cows milk in it, this didnt make a difference and he screamed even worse that night. We took him back down the hospital the next day and they admitted him. They decided to move him onto a formula called 'lcp neocate' this had not been anywhere near a cow. The next morning he passed a formed stool and was sent home. Therefore you mite want to see docs to see if he/she has this intollerance.

Kat

I was just wondering how you found out that your son had a sensitivity or intollerance to the milk protein.  My son is 5 months and has horrible reflux. We have went through blood work, Upper GI, Endoscopy and a Sigmoidoscopy.  They said that he doesn't have any allergies because they did not show up in the biopsies.  He is on 7.5 mg of prevacid three times a day.  He was also on zantac at one time but just throws it up right away.  He wakes up every 30 minutes at night and really won't nap during the day.  I am considering switching him to a more broken down formula called neocate.  I have kept on the GI specialist and I swear I am not getting anywhere at all!  It's ridiculous!I am not sure how much more of this that I can handle!!!!

THank you,

Sarha

There aren't many difinitive tests for allergies or sensitivities at this age..  its trial & error.  I have a very similar story. My son was on prevacid 15mg 2x a day, zantac did nothing.. we tried allimentum, nutramigen, you name it.  Hi is now on NEOCATE.. it is insanely expensive, but worth it!  He is almost 8 months old and is now getting up to 5 hours of sleep at night, and down to just once dose of prevacid a day.  It's the first time in his life that he doesn't have gi cramping and discomfort.  There is NO milk at all in neocate.  you can get a coupon for $25 off, and they have discount through dec 11th.  Ask your GI for some samples.. ours got us 4 cans.. enough to make an informed decision before spending the cash.  If you are breastfeeding, do the elimination diet (turkey, squash, rice, potatos and pears), then slowly add foods... just make sure you eat enough for your milk supply will drop significantly.

Good luck.. let me know if you have questions.

Hi,

My son is on Neocate also. Is your baby eating solids? because mine wont eat a thing. I have been told that this formula fills them up so he may not want to eat food?

Kat

I dont know how much i can handle either!! My daughter just turned 8mths and doesnt sleep. At night she wakes up every 30 mins-1hr. All night long. Daytime, she barely takes 2 naps that never last longer than 30 mins. I have tried EVERYTHING to get her to sleep longer (or to just sleep at all!!)!!!! This includes every book i could find on baby sleep. She has been to CHOP (childrens hospital of philadelphia) more times than i can count seeing specialists. The last GI dr suggested that i starve her for 2 days and then have her admitted through the er to start her on neocate claiming she was allergic to breastmilk. I havent been back to that dr. The neocate has made no difference though in anything--its actually made her more gassy than breastmilk. Zantac and prevacid made no difference either. She still doesnt sleep. Next on the list is a sleep-study at CHOP suggested by the last neurologist she saw to rule out seizures and other sleep issues. Maybe this will tell me something....... Does anyone else have any suggestions???

I'm about to lose it as well.  My son just turned 9 months today and still wakes up every 1 to 2 hours and naps for 30mins all day long.  I've tried everything.  He won't even sleep with me!  I would give anything for even that.  I don't think he has any reflux issues though.  I see no signs of it any way.  I've tried to let him cry it out but it results in him just being awake for 4 hours and me miserable.  I've spent a ton on all kinds of all natural sleep aids and nothing.   He even had an allerigic reaction to something he ate and I was so excited because I got to give him benadryl and he still only slept for 3 hours.  When he wakes up he just starts yelling for me.  He doesn't cry or scream in pain he just yells and then my husband wakes up and then we're both miserable.  I'm going to try a holistic pedatrician to see what she says.  Maybe she'll have some better tactics for me.

This sounds just like my son and I'm at my wits end! He slept really well until he was about 2 months old and it's been down hill since then. He only take 15-30 minute naps and wakes up 6-10 times a night and wants to be held and bounced back to sleep, then he's up again in an hour. I don't want to let him cry it out in the event something is bothering him. It seems like he's woken up by something, not just waking up. He wakes up just as much if he's sleeping with me. The only way he'll go back to sleep is either nursing or walking around bouncing him. I know he's sleep deprived as I am, but hate the whole CIO idea. How do I know if he's just waking up out of habit or if something is really wrong?

What you've just described is my little guy to a "T". Slept well until two months, a progression of worsening sleep times, shortening naps, the need to be bounced to sleep, and the awakening in an hour. 

We took our son to the urgent care one night because the not sleeping when laid down progressed to screaming no matter what we did. The doctor basically told me that I just needed to be a better mother and read the baby's signs better. He was obviously no help.

Please let me know if you've found something wrong medically, or some method that helps him to sleep through more than one sleep cycle at a time.

desperate. 

Hi, sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with reflux.  I had a very premature baby (24 weeks) who was in hospital for 5 months.  He has been home for 3 months now and one of his problems was severe reflux.  He has a hypoallergenic forumla called nutramigen we were on neocate to start which is the most broken down you can get but also tastes very bad - you may find your baby will not take this now after having other milk.  We also have to use two drugs called domperidon and omeprazol everyday which are given orally and use gaviscon infant, which is powder and is made up with the formula, this thickens the milk in the stomach so it does not come up and burn which causes the pain, it has been a godsend, eventually we will not use any of these and are slowly weaning him off the drugs.  Reflux does get better with age and once they start eating solids, they will outgrow it usually by 1 year.  Also, make sure your baby sleeps slightly upright/tilted, put something underneath their matress so their head is higher up on a slope, this helps so much.  We have now managed to get him in a cot without the tilt but it was a godsend in hospital and the first 3 months at home.

Hi, sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with reflux.  I had a very premature baby (24 weeks) who was in hospital for 5 months.  He has been home for 3 months now and one of his problems was severe reflux.  He has a hypoallergenic forumla called nutramigen we were on neocate to start which is the most broken down you can get but also tastes very bad - you may find your baby will not take this now after having other milk.  We also have to use two drugs called domperidon and omeprazol everyday which are given orally and use gaviscon infant, which is powder and is made up with the formula, this thickens the milk in the stomach so it does not come up and burn which causes the pain, it has been a godsend, eventually we will not use any of these and are slowly weaning him off the drugs.  Reflux does get better with age and once they start eating solids, they will outgrow it usually by 1 year.  Also, make sure your baby sleeps slightly upright/tilted, put something underneath their matress so their head is higher up on a slope, this helps so much.  We have now managed to get him in a cot without the tilt but it was a godsend in hospital and the first 3 months at home.  I would go to your doctor and ask them to look into the reflux, if it is a severe case drugs can help and are most definitely required.  Good luck.  

Sarhsa,

We are in a very similiar situation as you, Have GI, tests done, etc.  We are now close to month 8, so maybe a month behind.  Any luck with remedies?  We have done all the home items, dark room, white noise, etc.  Still nothing working.  It would be great to hear if you have learned anything that has helped.

Julie

My son had blood in his stool when we found out that he was allergic to the cow's milk protien.  We put him on Allimentum, which if they are only allergic or sensitive to the cow's milk protien, Allimentum is a costly way to go.  So we switched to Similac Isomil Advance (soy, red and white bottle) and we use ready feed now.  After being on the Allimentum for so long, the powdered soy just constipated him...I am going to assume because I didn't make it right, but the ready feed soy is great.  He isn't consitipated, no more gas, no more reflux!  Nothing...but a happy baby!  Now  I would consider taking everything out your baby's diet has any milk in it.  Sensitive or allergy to me means the same.  Allimentum is more for all allergies like seafood, nuts, milk, etc.  Soy works around just the cow's milk protien.  So If nothing else is working, and you're baby doesn't have any other allergies, give the ready feed soy a try.  But give a month or so to work.  The cows milk protien takes awhile to get out of baby's system.  Hope this helps!  :-)

My son also had the same problems, it was like reading a book about him reading your response. He was really fussy since birth, I thought he was collicy because it ran in his dads family. They eventually switched him to that alimentum and he takes previcid. It works wonders!!! They tried switching him to regular formula again at 6 monthes and it started again. He does not have blood in his stool either. We switched him back and much better. He just had ear infection and started waking up all the time. And now wants to sleep with me all the time. I lay him in bed he goes back to sleep, when he wakes and realizes he's not in bed with me he cries. I can't just let him cry because he won't go back to sleep. my house is small and he wakes everyone up. I'm stuck getting him and laying him with me. Becoming a habbit now, i don't know what to do.

hi my baby is 8 months old & he has severe reflux. he was put on a regular medication (Ranimed) for babies with reflux since he was 20 days old, but I noticed that it wasn't helping him & he kept crying & screaming all night from the acid in his stomach, so I asked his doctor for another solution. Now, he is still on meds & was switched to Motilium (for the vomitting--3 times a day, 15-20 min before his meals) & Nexium 20 mg (half a pill once a day--morning before his meal). This was the best solution & helped him a lot! I recommend the nexium to any mother whose baby has severe reflux. I hope this helps.. Good luck!

although, his reflux was sorted out...my son DOES NOT SLEEP! He takes 3-- 30 minute naps a day & wakes up every hour of the night all night long! This is really tiring, and I don't know what to do. His crib is in our room & when I put him in his crib, I realize that he wakes up more than when I put him beside me in my bed. He still wakes up during the night, but not as often. I asked the doctor & she told me that some babies just don't sleep as much as others... is there no other solution to this? I will not do the CIO because since he has reflux, it's worse for him to cry because the acidity will get worse when he does....I've tried bathing him before bed & everything else, nothing works! HELP!

I forgot to also mention that I don't breast feed & he was put on special formula for babies with Reflux (Novalac AR) since he was diagnosed with it. He also wakes up every hour or 2 of the night to eat....

hi my son is 10 months old he does not sleep he wakes up every hour crying with his eyes shut..i dont think he is doing this just out of habit i think something must be wrong no sign of teeth coming through or swollen gums..i have reflux and my doctor prescribed me with nexium..i took my baby to the doctors and he said he could not give him any tablets because i said it is wind..he sed my baby is to young for nexium or any kind of tablet he told me to use herbal tea to get his wind up!!  do u think a peditrition could help me?

Agree 100% with this, it's important to rule out medical problems when trying to help your baby sleep and waking every 1-3 hours is something to look at closely in a baby of 8 months of age...

My daughter is 7 month old.She also wakes up every 2 hours.I feed her every time.I know its really difficult to wake up every time.But thats only for some time,they grow up very fast.Donot put them in some other room.Let them sleep in your room but in their own crib.Never co sleep with the baby.They will just suck milk and want breast in their mouth all the time.It becomes habit for them.After that they will not sleep by their own. Since they are growing very fast they really get very hungry at night.If you let him cry he will cry more and  sleeps  when he is really exahusted.He gets hungry again and gets up again in a hour.All the parents have some problems or other.Parenting is the toughest job in the world.But everthing is forgotten when we see cute smiling face of baby.

It is not true that babies who sleep with their mothers don't learn to sleep by themselves. The opposite, they are so secure and content that they grow up free of sleep issue and sound sleepers. If it was true than the whole world would be afflicted with this problem because separate sleeping in new in history and only in the west. Most of the world co-sleep and children grow up able to sleep anywhere.

         In co-sleeping the baby will breastfeed as much as she needs. If not in the same bed, she will actually not get enough and not wake up enough. Waking up protects the baby from apnea (stopping to breath) and secures sufficient feeding for growth.

       Parenting is not about finding ways to make it easier for ourselves, but about meeting the baby and child's needs optimally. No stage of development stays out of habit. They breastfeed but they learn to eat. They co-sleep but they learn to sleep by themselves. They lay in our arms but they do learn to walk, they cry but they do learn to talk. Don't be afraid of the baby being a baby. They grow up on their own.

Naomi Aldort Ph.D. Author Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.

my son has slept with me since day one and has slept thru the night from 10 weeks old. he was breast feed until 13months old and is now nearly three and has had no sleeping problems and still sleeps with me and I wouldn't change it for the world. We have spoken about him sleeping in his own bed and I know he will when he is ready and I will miss him

I believe there is no right or wrong just what works best for you and your baby and family and they are only small for a tiny period of time so enjoy every moment of it the frustrating times and the good times

Parenting is.........about meeting the baby and child's needs optimally. Of course, this goes without saying.

Lovely thought Dr Ph.D, full agreement there, but when a mum or dad is physically and mentally exhausted, hasn't slept more than an hour at a time for months their ability to meet the child's needs optimally is compromised anyway. Why do you make parents who are struggling to do their best to care for their child feel guilty that they are simply "trying to make it easier for them selves" when all they are really trying to do is find a sustainable solution. When parents are well rested they can care for their children optimally. Cry it out solutions were not for me and are not for everyone but all families are different and all parents want to meet their children's needs optimally. Just as sometimes it is necessary to tell a toddler "no" to meet his need optimally maybe sometimes some parents need to make tough decisions re their babies sleep. Parents don;t need anyone else laying a guilt trip on them. How many children do you have Dr Ph.D???

Parenting is.........about meeting the baby and child's needs optimally. Of course, this goes without saying.

Lovely thought Dr Ph.D, full agreement there, but when a mum or dad is physically and mentally exhausted, hasn't slept more than an hour at a time for months their ability to meet the child's needs optimally is compromised anyway. Why do you make parents who are struggling to do their best to care for their child feel guilty that they are simply "trying to make it easier for them selves" when all they are really trying to do is find a sustainable solution. When parents are well rested they can care for their children optimally. Cry it out solutions were not for me and are not for everyone but all families are different and all parents want to meet their children's needs optimally. Just as sometimes it is necessary to tell a toddler "no" to meet his need optimally maybe sometimes some parents need to make tough decisions re their babies sleep. Parents don;t need anyone else laying a guilt trip on them. How many children do you have Dr Ph.D???

I agree with you - I have a one year old son and he's still breastfeeding and still co-sleeping and we love it.  However, he wakes up crying out and screaming with tears.  He has stopped nursing as much during the night.  When I go in to comfort him, he doesn't want to nurse.  Even when he wakes after my husband and I have went to bed, he still screams. 

I'm at a loss b/c I thought co-sleeping would help this not to be a problem since we are right there with him and he has touch and closeness with us all night.  And I'm even more at a loss b/c nursing doesn't calm him like it once did  :(  I feel that if he was actually hungry he would eat as he did every night from 6-10 months (once he became very aware of the outside world!)

I really wish I could find a reason for his wakings (about every 2 hours)

It sounds like your baby has a different reason to wake up. I would love to help you, but I don't have enough information. The key is to find out what is bothering him. He might be experiencing scary dreams, or he might experience pain, teething, or he may want to go to the bathroom (I am serious). Try to figure it out. If you cannot, you can find information on my site about talking to me on the phone. 

Naomi Aldort, Ph.D.

could be wind because they are feeding and sleeping they are not getting their wind up so it lays on their tummy

I thinks its perfect and sooo natural explanation..I m very agree with that..I have 3 yo daughter who was breast feed till 20months old, last three month i even fed her been pregnant with my second child..Even doctors told me to stop breastfeeding..So she wanted to breastfeed every night once or twice till 20 months old and than she just stoped !!! I m not sure why but she refused breast (some friends say milk chage taste when woman is pregnant) but she start to sleep all night and didnt wake up for feeds..And now i have 9 months old son who wakes up nearly every 2,5-3hrs for feed and i give it to him..Even i m so tired and sleep deprived i belive that if baby waes up he needs you and it wont be hapenning till he go to graduation night !!! lol it will stop eventualy, in right time for your baby..Yeh i m agree u have to be sure that you baby is not in pain or sufer from some discomfort..Mothers, i just want to tell you one thing...One day our kids grow up and wont need us as they need us now, and it will be very hard to realised that they dont need us much as before..So enjoy your time as "unreplacable" person in the world...U will missed that time later on..Sorry if mu comments offend anybody, but its just my feelings and thoughts..And another important thing, follow a good routine !!!

you post an interesting and I would said a diff view here thats why I would like to ask more. My DD is 16 months and start from half a year ago, she goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes at 9:30, 12:30, 2:30, 4 or 5 then totally awake at 6. She's totally underweight, lowest 5% since she's not a good eater. I still breastfed her, day and nite. I tolerated her night waking all these time since I want her to have more milk. But recently she's been getting better with her solid so I really would like to have a good nite sleep.One thing I notice, she is eating quite well on solid now but she's still a tiny baby. Gaining a bit of weight but still on lowest curve of the chart. I guess I need to accept that it is her DNA.

I co-sleep with her. What interesting is everytime she wakes up crying, I will nurse her and she'll go right back to sleep. Sometimes she's too tired, she suck very little and struggle so I put her down but she won't be able to sleep until I pick her up and nurse until she refuse the breast. I guess thats when she really feels full. But I'm starting to think how can she possibly be so hungry at nite and need so many feedings...   Help!!

Hi there

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes as I am in the exact situation as you were 7.5 months ago and would love to know where you're at now! I have a 2 year old who was a bad sleeper ad woke 3-4 hourly for feeds until she reached 10 months. I now have a 5 month old and I may as well have written your post above. He has been an absolute nightmare form the second he was born, such an unsettled baby. Won't even fall asleep in the car, just screams and has done so from birth. He was waking 3-4 hourly from birth, then started waking 3 hourly, then 2 hourly and is now waking every hour overnight. I am so exhausted, there is no routine and can be no routine cos he is too tired to last his awake times. I just have to try go by his tired signs. I can't plan anything during the day, which is fine, I have sacrificed having any sort of life at the moment for him, but my 2 year old suffers as a result and so does he becuase I can't do any activities with him like gymbaroo or babytime at the library cos he's always so overtired.

This sounds awful and I know what its like. We have an 8 mo old who was colicky, which it sounds like you are going through. Overtired babies are tough, its a vicious cycle. Do what you have to do to get them to sleep, just to get past the overtired part, before you start 'teaching' anything. If thats even possible. Our dr suggested Melatonin, not sure if that'd work.

Hello,

Your baby sounds just like mine.  He is now 8 months old and still wakes up every hour or so throughout the night.  He was an EXTREMEMELY fussy baby the first 4 or 5 months of his life.  He cried all day - we saw different pediatricians, GI's, etc, and tried Zantac, Prevacid, Mylicon, gripe water, you name it.  Doctors were convinced it was acid reflux.  We are pretty sure now that it never was, since all these meds never helped.  We also switched formula from the regular Enfamil Lipil to Gentlease, to Nutramigen (which he hated), to Good Start Soy Plus, and now Good Start Gentle Plus.  My husband and I are now convinced it was just his personality all along, and his overtiredness.  He never fell asleep in the car, and did not sleep easily in his stroller.  He never dozes off on his own.  He has been extremely attentive since he was born.  It's as if he doesn't want to fall asleep because he is afraid of missing something!  We learned when he was about 3 months old that we just had to force him to take naps.  We rock him and shush him for about 10 minutes until he falls asleep.  He has always fought sleep, since day one.  But now, with this routine, he finally falls asleep, but unfortunately does not stay asleep very long.  So we just have to start the process again every 30 minutes.  It is not easy, but it has resulted in a much happier baby.   He now plays and smiles like a normal baby does during the day, and doesn't scream any more like he used to.  His 2 naps have made a huge difference.  I didn't have a routine until he was about 4 months old.  Now I can plan something between his 2 naps (1 1/2 hr each). 

Good luck.  I am still having the deal with the hourly wakings at night, but at least he is much happier during the day!

Rest be assured you are not alone. Your situation is exactly like mine. An 8 month old that waits up every hour on average(sometimes even less than an hour) at night. He started this habit from 4 months onwards. He isn't hungry but just needs some help getting back to sleep. My wife is getting depressed and I'm getting desperate. Somehow, I found some comfort in knowing that we are not alone. As to the solutions, I have none as we had tried many methods. All we can do for now is to endure and wait, hoping things would get better. If things do get better or if I could find a remedy, I will post again.  

Now the baby is waking up only once a night. We tried the cry it out method and it worked. But this time round, we did it differently in that my wife slept in another room instead and only myself and the baby were together in the room. We thought that this might have been an important factor. The first three nights, the baby kept waking up and crying until he got so tired and fell back to sleep. I just gave him little or no attention. By the fourth night, he began to wake up only once a night. I was told by a friend that it was a matter of your will against the baby's and I prevailed. Now, all three of us could sleep well even though my wife is still sleeping in another room at night. I hope my sharing could help someone who was in the situation as mine before as I know how depressing this situation can cause both parents. 

p.s. I know how tough it can get for the parent to ignore the baby during the cry out, but I kept telling myself it is for the benefit of the 3 of us and that I've got to press on. Not sure if this cry it out method works for every baby but I would suggest doing so only when the baby is at least 6 months old and is otherwise healthy.

Babies do not need to sleep a certain amount of time and intervals. This is more of our western society being so controlling of the baby. In reality and if you study natural societies where babies rarely cry, each baby has his or her own natural needs. In the west babies sleep much more because they are stressed out by being separated from their mothers and controlled. When being held by mother or father all day long, the baby feels at peace and often sleeps much less than what we are used to. The baby knows what he needs. Not with thoughts, but by instincts. If you hold the baby in a snugly at all times, he will sleep when tired and wake when he needs to.

When keeping the baby with you at night, as all mothers done through history till the last 180 years in the west, he will not only sleep the right amount, but also become independent and self-reliant and trust you to be on his side. Because he learns, "The way I feel (tired, hungry) is right. I can rely on myself.) He will grow up into a well behaving child and a peaceful one. Being controlled about his own body makes the child defiant later on because he sees you as controlling rather than responding to his cues.

It is amazing to see how babies who are always held and slept with, are peaceful, content, and grow up into cooperative children who never need discipline because they do well of their own free will. Trust your heart. Use your motherly intuition. It is right, and what your baby wants is right.

With care, Naomi Aldort Ph.D. Parenting therapist and author.

"Dr" Aldort.  Your responses on this topic have been consistantly irrisponsible in the matter of how to get babies to sleep.  While I'm sure it must be a rush to be a cruisader in the field of parenting, giving bad advise is not the answer.

1.  Of COURSE babies need routine as centuries of tried and true methods revolving around this trueism have proved.  We do not live in the jungle or a small 3rd world country where it seems you have pulled all your "success stories" from.  In the REAL world where WE all live we are working people who operate by the standard world clock.  We need to get up at certain times each day and have a schedule for our children in order to participate in life, not only so WE can function as a SOCIETY, but so that our CHILDREN have an opportunity to find COMFORT in knowing and counting on their daily routine.  The idea that we can or SHOULD give the child whatever they want so they don't feel disappointment is laughable.  You put too much negative emphasis on a baby learning what IS and is NOT acceptable in the "real world".  We DON'T live in the jungle where it is acceptable to behave without thought or regard for rules and mores.  Nobody can or should operate their entire life around the needs of a baby.  If babies were capable of knowing what they needed we would not be an esential part of their lives for such a long period.  They would be able to raise themselves.

2.  How utterly irrisponsible of you to suggest that we sleep with our babies when it is the leading cause of SIDS as it leads to SUFFOCATION and should NOT be done.  Shame on you for even entertaining that idea, but to PUBLISH it on a public forum is negligent on your part as you should well know, being a "doctor" -I took a moment to look you up on the American Medical Association and you are not registered so it makes me wonder what actually the Phd following your sir name actually stands for-.  For you to suggest to people that sleeping with an infant is a GOOD idea is possibly grounds for a law suit when that "medical advise" causes harm or even death to someone's baby.

In summation: In life there are rules to be followed and things we learn as children to do or not do (apparantly you are a product of your own "zen" advise of not having to be accountable for your actions), and hopefully our parents will be instrumental in helping us learn to be participating, functioning members of our REAL world society. 

Babies cry.  It's a fact of life.  A routine is very helpful.  A lot of patience is necessary and finding a rythym that works for you and your own baby will come.  Don't let the bad advise of someone claiming medical training be your guide.  Use your common sense.  Contrary to the good "doctor's" advise, just because something FEELS good (having your baby in your bed with you), doesn't mean you should DO it.

Amber Denson CS (that's common sense for you "doctor" Aldort)

mother of 2

living in the REAL world where we have CLOCKS and everything!

Amber,

You don't know how to spell "irresponsible," you don't know the difference between PhD and MD, and you don't know anything about cosleeping. Your response to Ms. Aldort was brazen and bitter. Open your mind and open your heart. If not for yourself then for your children.

Thank you for being an advocate for cosleeping and Attachment parenting. Too many parents are misinformed by their pediatricians and unresearched/uneducated on the matter. I was one of those parents - just didn't know any better. I am grateful for the family therapist in my life who introduced me to a more natural way of parenting. I LOVE being a mom and using this approach!!! It's wonderful. I hope that you too can at least spark curiosity in moms to research and read up on cosleeping and attachment parenting. :)

Thank you again.

Amber,

I was once where you were in my understanding of how babies should sleep. In my very own pediatrician's office, there are posters encouraging us to "put baby in crib" NEVER sleep with baby, etc. I thought I was doing it all right. Then my baby began suffering from colic, so I began to research and I realized THERE WASN'T JUST ONE WAY!!! I was doing what I knew and what I thought was the right way, but then realized there was a more comforting, nurturing, loving and NATURAL way for babies to sleep which is a more accepted method by moms these days. I recommend reading info by "Dr Sears"  at DrSears.com and looking into getting a book of his.  

I met a family therapist / friend who is an advocate for cosleeping and is very well researched in the matter who has given me such valuable insight and a new understanding of the benefits of cosleeping. Also, friends around me had been using the cosleeping approach / ATTACHMENT PARENTING (also something good to read on) so I have been able to see the benefits of this style of parenting longterm.  A friend of mine's 2 year old son sleeps through the night after having coslept until he was a little over a year. He is very well adjusted, peaceful, happy kid. I cry when I look back and think what could have happened to our son  had I followed the older method. The cry out or sleeping alone doesn't show any immediate effects, so everything seems fine, but longterm is where the concern is. You want your baby to trust you and that begins with meeting their needs. RUN to him/her, COMFORT them, help them feel SECURE no matter what time/day. Soon they will be independent enough and will have established an amazing bond and see you as supermom who meets all my needs! I promise, it's worth it for your baby!!! Longterm you will be amazed at the relationship between you and your baby!!! In reading this you are probably thinking I am nuts about the cosleeping and the attachment parenting... I was like that too before babies! I looked at my one friend who slept with her baby and thought she just needed to put that baby in the crib and let him cry till he fell asleep. Then I had trouble with my baby due to colic and I had to try somethign else to get sleep... which is when I stumbled upon another method - a more natural and loving method that I want to share with every mom who has guilt for sleeping with baby, or thinks they have to put baby in crib because it reduces SIDS when cosleeping when done correctly puts baby at less a risk for SIDS. :) I just ask that you be open minded about this! I was and I have been blessed with a baby who TRUSTS me!!! I can't wait to see him grow!!!

Sorry,

MISTAKE in my last post. The site is "AskDrSears.com, NOT Dr.Sears.com  :)

Hi,

I have been browsing through the posts. I have a 7 month old who used to sleep very nicely at night. Wake up just 1 or 2 times, feed from the bottle and go back to sleep instantly. I was so happy. Now he has started waking up every hr. He is 7 months old. I go home in the evening, feed him rice cereal, fruit. Then I bathe him. Almost instantly on finishing bath, he wants to go off to sleep. I barely manage to dress him and then start putting him to bed. I rock him to sleep in my arms (he has got that habit now. I know people say put him down and pat him, but he doesnt go to sleep that way). He sleeps around 8:30, I give him a bottle at that time and then wakes up at 9:30 PM. rock him back to sleep. wakes up again at 10:30 PM, etc. basically I realised if I change his diaper he sleeps for 3 hrs or so, but then changing diaper wakes him up completely so it takes a lot of time putting him back to sleep.

What do I do? Is it ok if I give him only cereal/fruit at night and avoid formula? Will that make him not pee too much at night and hence might be sleep through the night?

I know these days will go fast and I want to enjoy my kid sleeping next to me (I already miss breastfeeding:( ). Please advise.

Naomi,

        My wife and I have an eight month old who has been crying every 1-1.5 hour during the night for the past month or so. We have been co-sleeping with the baby since her birth with mattress directly on the ground. We tried following a schedule but, realized that the baby is not consistent everyday and chose to go with the baby's schedule for sleep/nap instead of forcing a schedule on her. The baby is very active during the day and naps for 1-2 hours during day time. We feed her formula and rice cereal. Since the past month or so (since she started teething), she has been regularly waking up during the night and crying loud. She becomes quiet once my wife takes her into the lap and puts her to sleep. My wife and I have been extremely sleep deprived and are desperately in search of solutions. I know that if we consult the doctor for this matter, they will most likely discourage co-sleeping, ask us to let the baby cry out or even suggest a sleep study. Do you have some suggestions for us? We will greatly appreciate your inputs in this regard.

thanks!

A Caring Father & Husband

If I may respond although you addressed to Naomi.  I am the original author of this blog.  I have had 2- 8 month old babies since Feb /2008  Both my Babies didn't sleep through the entire night until they were a year old.  My 1st boy that i originally wrote about was a somewhat difficult child from the start, we took him to the hospital one night because he seemed so unhappy, and Dr. said he was Colic.  What my husband and I did to get through that 1st year, was when he would wake up, we would get up, make him a warm bottle without moving him or turning on any lights, and then give it to him and he would go back to sleep.

He would drink it all, and no longer has that bottle at night and his teeth are fine.  My Little girl my most recent Baby, she is 18 months old now, but she has been a very happy Baby from the start, however just started sleeping through the night about 5 months ago...  I would do the same thing for her, make her a warm bottle, she would drink it all and go back to sleep.  Obviously sounds like they were hungry but I did try the pablum before bed and no bottle, but that didn't work.  I think they just woke needing some reassurance and comfort and a nice warm bubba was a great bonus :)  It was hard and frustrating, because I was going through the sleep depravation for way to long, but now finally they both sleep through the entire night.  My bed time routine with them has not changed since the beginning..  Warm Bath at approx 7pm, pj's, and to bed with a warm 8oz bottle of milk/formula, their pacifier, lights out and quiet.  If they woke up, I would quietly go make a bottle give to him/her and they would go back to sleep. 

Now they sleep until I wake them at 7am or they wake on their own between 7-8am.  They have one aftn nap about 4 hrs after they wake, so around 11-11:30 and usually sleep 2-3 hrs.

Hang in there,  she will start sleeping through the night soon :)

Cinsha,

         Thank you for your elaborate post. Giving a warm bottle is something we've not tried before so, I am glad we have something that can be tried without much ado. Her middle-of-the-night crying doesn't seem to be a hunger-related thing because she doesn't want to drink any formula when she wakes up. Few days back, she began crying even during day time and she becomes quite only if her mother picks her up. We are wondering if it could be separation anxiety too. Usually, she eats and drinks well, doesn't have any ear infection, is very playful, smiles and laughs at strangers and everyone outside calls her happy baby at least once a day. Just makes us wonder what may be the trouble. I greatly appreciate your pitching in with your suggestions.

Wish you well with your two babies!

thank you!

Naomi, how am I to cook dinner, clean the bathroom toilet and take a shower with my 25 pound infant strapped to me in a snuggly at all times? It's dangerous for one thing to be near the stove with your infant. It's not practicle in real life although I would do it if I could...you really can't and carry on even the minimum of everyday life. In addition I cannot wake up every hour to comfort my child and sleep all of her naps with her. That would be 14 hours of sleeping, given that I'm adult and have to do things like wash her diapers, get groceries and cook her food I need to not be in bed all day to do that. She's not hungry, takes three sips of the boob and goes back to sleep. There must be another solution as I am going back to work in 3 months and I owe it to her to show her how to cope not attached to me every waking hour.

How dare you? You don't know anything about these mums! They're trying their best to cope with a really difficult and exhausting situation. You and people like the 'dr' are not at all interested in helping people. For you it's just about being right. Every mother, every baby, every family is different. If you want to co-sleep, then co-sleep. If it doesn't work for you because it would ruin your partnership and leave you absolutely exhausted in the day time - unable to look after your baby or perform well at work - then don't do it. Being a parent is hard work and a mystery, especially the first time. People come to this site for advise; not to be told that they are terrible parents and that their children ought to be taken away from them.

Babies are meant to have all the attention from their parents BOTH DAY AND NIGHT!!  Dont let your baby cry him/herself to sleep! Thats not healthy at all!! Babies need mommy or daddy or both!!! Its not suppose to be easy taking care of a child! One day youre going to miss this, you're gonna have regreats.. you're going to miss baby days and wish you could go back to that one time when they were babies and just hold them and love them because one day they will be grown and out of the house and you will be all alone.. sure they will come and visit ever so often if any... but for now you have this beautiful baby.. enjoy it.. spend as much time as you can with him or her.Sleep with them... Spoil them... but most importantly love and care for them. After all they are our future!! Remember... we are not promised tomorrow! So live for today!

My son is 8 months old. And he only takes one 1 1/2 hour nap a day. and i feed him his baby food at 7 then bath then i let him play til 8-830 then i give bottle and then put to bed. he still wakes up 2 to 3 times a night. he sleeps in his bed in my room. but he has recently been waking up screaming bloody murder and it scares that crap out of me. i comfort and try to get back to sleep, but it only last for a hour or so before he is up doing it again... i'm so confused on what could be causeing that.. any ideas.

thanks

cortney

OMG someone pse help me, i have not slept since February 2008 lol seriously i havent, I had terrible heart burn throughout my pregnancy, and kept getting up to pee, then my bones would ache so badly i could not get a peaceful nights sleep.  I breastfed my first son who is now 2 years and 8 months old and he's been sleeping really well for the last 7 months he still gets up for a drink of water sometimes twice a night, and sometimes just moans in his sleep i dnt know why he does it. I really havent slept since 2008 i also have a  7 month old (throughout the pregnancy i couldnt sleep spent more time peeing than sleeping ) he's 7 months old and just does NOT SLEEP he wakes up every single hour, how is that possible ???, he wont stop crying unless i put him on my breast.  He wont take a bottle he wont eat any solids he just wants the breast ! he's chubby and healthy Thank God for that... he just wont sleep and its draining me, i cant function in the day and am so tired i dont know what its like to be rested. I love my babies to bits but i'm miserable and just want some sleep ! We have a massive bed baby sleeps with me, so why does he get up all the time, i'm right there with him i cuddle him at first to pacify him and get so desperate i end up nursing him back to sleep, just so he doenst wake my 2yr 8mth old what to do ???.  I've tried feeding him before bedtime he does not want solids he throws up he hates the taste, he's a really fat boy all from breastmilk but what does he want that im not doing ? He uses me as a pacifier, but wont take a pacifier ! Help me please I just want to sleep a lil.......

I understand, I had friends saying the same to me, just as you will hear, well mine learned to walk at this age, and mine was potty trained at this age etc. so we are well aware each child is different in their own unique special ways, and ive learned to pay no mind in comparing my children to others.  Another relization and understanding I have since the many many months ago that I wrote this blog is that our babies cry for a reason. They have needs such as food and also comfort with touch, and that in my heart means to be close to Mommy.  This is a natural instinct for any baby human or animal.  Follow your instincts too, if it bothers you to leave your baby crying for any period of time, dont fight it and just comfort your Baby.  you will feel better and your Baby will too.  I also really understand the lack of sleep during this time and how hard it is to function when so tired, and your sleep is very important so either try to arrange someone to watch the baby so you can catch up and try to sleep when she does.  One this is certain, it is a phase your baby will outgrow and will soon sleep through the night. Just stay strong and remember how important you are to your precious baby, and she will grow to trust, and feel secure as she grows.

Good Luck :)

Hi Thanks for your response.  I wrote this blog a few years ago, but still remember those days clearly.  I found after each of my 2 lil ones passed the 1yr mark they both started sleeping great thru the night.  I have a friend who was also going thru the same thing and I said to her, "stick it out till she turns 1, then things will improve", and thankfully they did.  Not much comfort when you are exhausted and Babies are only 9months old, but just dont lose hope, the time is coming :)

Also, although I remember the exhaustion of it all when there were both under a year old, I miss them soo much at that stage, it went by so fast, and now I can hardly carry them anymore, so treasure them at this size before you know it, they"ll be all grown up, Good Luck :)

ooo...waiting...

Hi, I am on the same boat. my daughter is 8 mo old. she used to fall asleep w/out any problem and wake up every hour. Now she hates the crib as soon as i lay her down she stands up holding the railing and starts to cry. She rather fall asleep in the swing then crib. I was struggling. So I took her to bed with me and she slept for 5hrs! I am torn whether to try CIO and put her in the crib or should I co-sleep? I just want to get some sleep!