why does my 2 year old get up every hour at night?
We have tried everything. We have talked to his doctor and she simply says he has night terrors. But his symptoms are not those of a child with night terrors. He generally awakes from sleep every hour and stays awake for 5- 30 minutes. We have tried using the self soothing method to let him calm himself and we have tried letting him sleep with us. None of it works!! We are exhausted and confused. Can anyone help me?
Hi Desperate Mom:
I wonder, are you inadvertently reinforcing your child's behavior? When he wakes up, do you go see what he wants, or respond to him in any way? If he is crying, do you rush to soothe him? If so, you may have been using Behavioral Modification to teach him that he will get attention when he awakes.
We all respond to Behavioral Modification, for instance, if I open a candy bar, and it tastes awful, I won't buy another one. BUT, if I get rewarded by a good tasting one, I will go back for more.
The trick in using this to train your child, is NEVER REINFORCE a behavior that you don't want. Behaviors will extinguish, or disappear, when they are not rewarded. Behaviors that are rewarded occasionally are the hardest to get rid of, because the person is always hoping that if they try hard enough, they will get the reward.
Believe me, this kind of training is the hardest on the parent, but it is not cruel for the child to learn that he can sleep through the night.
You may want to consult with a psychologist who uses Behavioral Modification, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and can find one near you at Psychology Today.
I hope this helps,
Dr. Diana Walcutt
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