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yvonne,   This could get a bit long because I want to touch on anything that could possibly be helpful to you.   You didn't mention Ambien in your question, but you did choose it as a tag for your question. Did you know that one of the side effect of Ambien can be suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts? I understand the need for something to help you sleep, but PLEASE talk to your doctor about a different sleep medication?   How long have you been seeing your current therapist? Have you told him or her that you think of suicide? If you're not making progress with your therapist, you and he or she should talk about that too. No therapist is the right one for everyone. Maybe you should ask for a referral to a new one.   Have you been evaluated and diagnosed with amy kind of mental health disorder? It's important for that to happen, Yvonne, so you can get treatment if it would help. Some disorders, such a major depression, can need medication along with therapy for you to make lasting progress. That's because some of these disorders are caused, at least in part, by chemical  imbalances in the brain.   If you are in danger of hurting yourself right now, you can call your therapist or go to the closest emergency room for help. You cal also call 1-800-273-TALK or 1-800-SUICIDE and talk to someone trained to talk to and help people who are having suicidal thoughts.   If you're feeling depressed, you're very welcome to visit our sister site MyDepressionConnecton.com and talk with us there.   Most of all, Yvonne, remember that every life has value. YOUR life has value. There is help available for how you're feeling, and we'll continue to help you find it.   Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing, please?   with a hug for you, Teri