help! why is this getting more difficult?

Hi Randilynne.  Thanks for posting and welcome to our community.  I'm the moderator here and thought I'd post a reply with a few suggestions to help with your not smoking.  BTW - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!  This is a big deal.  You have come really far and are doing so much for yourself and your loved ones for kicking the habit.

First you should checkout our expert Anne Mitchell's How to Quit Smoking - Beyond the First Month. All of her posts are terrific.  As well, our expert Jim Christopher's posts have lots of tips on how to stay clean.

You amy also want to read out Living Smoke Free section for ideas on how to make your decision to quit smoking work.

Remember, every day that you don't smoke your body begins to heal itself.  And soon you will be rid of the daily urges and temptations - you can do it!

All the best, sue

to tell yourself "i'll never smoke again" just keeps butting up (pun intended) to the "impossible" challenge...the tried & proven AA way is to look at quitting as an "odatt" proposition: one day at a time (or 1 hr, 1 min, 1 sec).  we only live a moment at a time but delude ourselves by haging in the past or poking around n the future--where, again AA, many of us "clear away the wreckage of the future."

stay in the present moment, if a cravinmg hits in, get up pick up some dumb-bells or exercise bands, take a fast walk, go running, go swimming, do yoga, call a friend who's trying to stay stopped too.  the exercise routine works best for me--and it's said to counter deepression as well as cravings.

"odatt" worked for me 27 years ago in kicking booze.  i quit smoking for 10 years, then "picked up" again, just one a day...then 2. 3. 4. 5.  You know the syndrome:  addiction, a progressive disease--but it can be dealt with one day at a time (odatt).

good luck.  i'm just starting out again.