i'm a glass half empty kinda girl. actually i'm more like "who gave me this dribble glass?" or else i'm running around frantically trying to plug the leaky glass. in other words, i'm either feeling like the universe is out to get me or positive i can do EVERYTHING alone. and i guess i'm kinda negative. but really what i am mostly, at this moment is someone who has still NOT smoked. though many triggering incidents. the part i've been missing (big duh) is that not smoking is an accomplishment. and a gift. i've dwelled on the deprivation. and beat my self up about the irrepairable damage to my vascular system. but this is pretty cool. i went to see my sister in boston last week (running from hurricane ike which wound up no where near south florida) it was my first flight since i quit. what a break from all the logististic... cigarette after check in but before security. cigarette before baggage claim? on the walk through the carbon monoxide filled garage? and cigarettes were 7$ in boston!! so so what if i'm a little chubbier than i'd like to be? i'll lose weight. but i'm really not a prisoner anymore. to nicotine or to my own negativity. not smoking is WAY cool. right?
