Since my last SharePost, I’ve had to say goodbye to my most supportive, loving presence – always on my side for well over a decade – my beloved pooch, little Miles. As I write this, I feel devastated. It was only yesterday, shortly before the noon hour, that I hopelessly stroked my dearest friend’s forehead as he was injected with an overdose of anesthetic. I continue to cry openly at my profound loss.
Miles had become ill over a week ago and I’d had the vet keep him alive via intravenous feeding and antibiotics to try to get his poor liver functioning again. He was so very weak and ill, and had always been so vibrant and full of life and had constantly filled my life with his solid, powerful 35-pound bundle of joyous exuberance.
Over the years some of his black fur had turned white, especially around his face and paws. But his loving energy very rarely waned. Miles was never subjected to noxious cigarette fumes from yours truly, nor did he ever have to contend with irrational drunken behavior. He came into my life via a “doggie rescue lady” years after I had arrested my respective addictions to booze and nicotine. I’ve done my best to provide little Miles with a safe, loving environment and he, in turn, gave me everything he was, in abundance, i.e., he “spoiled” me, thus my grief feels momentarily unbearable. I experience waves of realization, profound loss clutching my throat and weighing heavy as a huge stone upon my heart.
The need for a cigarette or a drink never materializes; the need to break down frequently does. This grieving process would have been exacerbated many years ago via alcohol and cigarettes.
I know how very much I was loved by Miles and will always hold in my heart an individual who held nothing back. I miss Miles. I don’t miss nicotine and alcohol.
I urge you to take action in freeing yourself from the grip of nicotine and, if applicable, mind altering drugs and alcohol.
The ability to feel your authentic emotions – even the pain of a severe loss – is real life to be cherished, unimpaired by cigarette breaks.
It was a privilege to share my life with little Miles. Please reclaim your life. It can be a treasurable experience.
Visit me at quitnicotinenow.net and I look forward to being with you next week.
Read more from Jim:
How to Stay Nicotine-free in the Face of Pain
Freedom from Nicotine: Life on the Other Side of the Fence
Smoking Addiction: Break Away from Your Emotional Crutch
Stop Smoking: Self Empowerment and Old Fashioned Elbow Grease
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