Effective Coping Skills for ADHD

Whether it applies to you, a loved one, or a coworker, most of us know someone with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders—meaning a disorder related to the way the brain grows and develops. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), ADHD is usually diagnosed in childhood, but sometimes it goes under the radar until later in life. There are three recognized types of ADHD: primarily hyperactive and impulsive ADHD; primarily inattentive ADHD (previously called ADD); and combined type ADHD.

At any stage of life, the symptoms of ADHD can have a significant impact on your relationships, work or school life, and mental health. “ADHD can make it difficult for individuals to stay focused, organized, and achieve both big and small goals,” says Neha Kumar, a licensed marriage and family therapist and director of clinical practices at Alter Behavioral Health in Orange County, CA. “Common symptoms of child and adult ADHD include hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattentiveness, disorganization, and issues with prioritization and time management,” she adds.

The good news: By incorporating specific coping skills into your daily life, you can overcome some of the symptoms and behaviors standing in the way of your goals. Start with these expert-recommend strategies for tackling the key challenges of adult ADHD so you can not just survive with this condition but thrive.

If you have hyperactive ADHD, you may feel the need for constant movement. According to the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH), people with this ADHD type often fidget, squirm, and struggle to stay seated. They may also talk nonstop, interrupt others, and blurt things out without thinking first.

Techniques to help you cope with hyperactivity often let you keep your hands busy or expend energy while also attending to the task at hand, explains Kumar. There are also some lifestyle changes that can help reduce hyperactivity. Tried and true options from Kumar and the NIMH include:

• Avoid consuming caffeine late in the day to help you wind down in the evening.

• Doodle or draw to keep your hands busy.

• Eat regularly to support healthy brain function, and avoid sugar and junk food as much as possible.

• Make time for daily exercise to help burn up excess energy.

• Use a standing desk for work so you can easily move your legs and feet while working or take periodic short walks without having to repeatedly stand up and sit down.

• Use sensory toys, such as a fidget spinner.

Impulsivity is considered one of the three key symptoms of ADHD, along with inattention and hyperactivity, and it can be especially important to manage. Impulsivity refers to the tendency to say or do things without stopping to consider the potential consequences of your words or actions. “Impulsivity can cause major issues with interpersonal relationships, work, and self-esteem, leading to feelings of frustration and helplessness,” says Liz Hughes, a licensed professional counselor based in San Diego, CA. “However, certain techniques let you take a moment to gain perspective or insight before acting on an impulse.”

Hughes and Kumar suggest the following to manage ADHD impulsivity:

• Count slowly from one to 10 when you feel like reacting in anger or arguing with someone.

• Follow the “24-hour rule”—a cooling-off period before you make a decision that could have a big impact, like buying a car or leaving your job.

• Listen to every word someone says when they’re talking to you, then pause for three seconds before responding.

• Practice mindfulness, or non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts, to help you understand what situations lead you to act impulsively

• Put an elastic band around your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge to act impulsively, whether that’s saying something to someone you might later regret, or booking a vacation you can’t afford.

• Think through your thoughts before speaking up. For instance, in a work meeting, write what you want to say on a notepad and bring it up later if you still believe it’s important.

• Try guided meditation exercises to reduce stress, which can be a trigger for impulsive behavior. For free options, check out the Headspace, Calm and Aura apps.

According to research published in European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, people with ADHD may find it difficult to focus on slow tasks (such as reading a book or doing long work assignments), tasks with a delayed reward (such as learning a new skill or preparing for an event far in the future), or repetitive or predictable tasks (such as household chores). To improve focus, our experts suggest these strategies:

• Declutter your home or workspace to minimize distractions.

• Keep important items easily accessible so that you don’t have to search for them and potentially get sidetracked.

• Keep your phone off or in another room when you’re trying to work.

• Record ideas that come to you while you’re engaged in a task and come back to them after you’ve finished the task (this could be on a notepad or your phone, whatever works best for you!).

• Silence your smartphone and email alerts during working hours or when you otherwise need to concentrate on a task.

• Use the timer on your phone to allot specific chunks of time to specific tasks (say, five minutes to return an email or 20 minutes to finish a work report).

• When cleaning the house, start one room at a time and don’t move onto another room until the first is complete.

If organization is a challenge for you, your ADHD may be to blame. People with ADHD are more likely to be disorganized and not have a system in place to help them keep track of important documents or bills. “The negative impact of disorganization is getting late fees, having a bad credit score, or losing important documents,” says clinical social worker and therapist Jenna Nielsen, who offers telehealth counseling in Florida, Hawaii, Indiana, Michigan, and Nevada.

The number one tip for improving organization when you have ADHD? “Lists,” says Kumar. “Without creating to-do lists, it can be difficult for people with ADHD to feel as though they are working towards something concrete. A list makes things both tangible and visible, which can help significantly with organization.”

Along with lists, our experts suggest these additional skills to aid organization:

• Break big tasks into smaller ones that bring you closer to completion; for example, clean the counters in your kitchen; then clean the cabinet shelves, and so on, rather than trying to tackle the whole thing at once.

• Create a designated space at home for storing important items, like keys, wallet or purse, and phone.

• Employ the OHIO (Only Handle It Once) technique for mail and email: When you open a letter or message, immediately address what’s in it (i.e. take any action required, like pay the bill), then do one of these two things: Get rid of it, or file it if you need to keep it. Do not leave it sitting around.

• Experiment with list-tracking apps, such as Out of Milk, a grocery app that lets you create shopping lists and use a barcode scanner in the store to keep track of what you’re buying.

• Set aside a designated time each day to update your lists and schedules until it becomes an established habit, like brushing your teeth.

• Use colors to help things stick in your memory, such as color-coding paperwork or your online calendar, writing to-do lists on bright paper, and adding stickers or color to anything that requires your attention.

If you don’t have effective coping skills related to time management, you risk missing important deadlines, meetings, and appointments. “This can impact your work performance if you’re often showing up late or are unable to complete a task on time,” says Nielsen. “Time management skills can also impact your relationships with others if they’re always waiting on you or you’re not showing up for things. And the impact can be financial if you get no-show or late cancellation fees for missing appointments.”

Our experts recommend the following to aid in time management:

• Be realistic about how much time you have available, which may mean having to say no to certain projects or commitments.

• Break large tasks or projects down into smaller goals that can be done individually; this reduces the chance that you’ll feel daunted by the whole thing and end up not starting at all.

• Deal with emails, phone calls, or other matters immediately when possible.

• Do one thing at a time and complete it before moving on to the next thing, so that you don’t have multiple uncompleted tasks in progress.

• Reward yourself when you’ve met a deadline.

• Set timers/alarms to remind you of appointments (this may be 24 hours before, an hour before, 10 minutes before, or all of the above—whatever works best for you).

• Use a digital calendar to enter all meetings, appointments, and obligations as soon as you schedule them.

• Wear a watch and get into the habit of using it to make yourself more aware of time.

It takes time and effort to turn coping skills for ADHD into habits. But when you’re able to do this, you can consistently meet your goals, which in turn has a huge payoff, Kumar says: an improvement in your self-esteem and overall outlook on yourself and the world. “This can then lead to less anxiety, decreased depression, and better personal relationships,” she adds.

Keep in mind that coping skills are one prong of your ADHD treatment plan, but you may need medication as well. Hughes points out that some research suggests that the best outcomes for ADHD involve a combination of medicine and working with a qualified therapist (who can help you with, among other things, implementing coping strategies like those above). “Psychotropic medicine can help with brain chemistry regulation and improve issues with impulse control, while therapy can help with gaining insight of certain behaviors and triggers and teach you other ways to regulate emotions,” she explains.

Remember, ADHD affects everyone differently, and it might take a bit of trial and error to find the coping strategies that work best for you. Working with a therapist can help you identify your unique challenges—and the best ways to overcome them.